maedhros: he’s really big? like i know elves are usually big, but he’s bigger. he will probably just hold u at arm’s length while u flail and it will be embarassing for everyone. plus the poor guy’s been through enough. don’t fight maedhros. u will get beaten up or u will feel bad for heaping more misfortune on him and either way u lose. for the love of god don’t fight someone CLOSE to maedhros though u will definitely die.
maglor: ‘he’s just a singer’ u think. ‘how tough can he be’ u think. ‘he spent years just wandering around moping right, i can totally take him.’ u are wrong. maglor does not mope, he broods. he broods upon ASSKICKING. plus all that walking and musical instrument hefting and occasional kinslaying have given him fantastic muscles. don’t fight maglor. he will kick ur ass and then write a song about it, kind of like t-swift writes songs about her exes. don’t do it.
celegorm: u should fight celegorm. he will beat u up but he deserves to be punched so. much. the silmarillion has no official character descriptions and still everyone draws him looking as smug and punchable as hell. his punchable qualities cross time and permeate legends. fight celegorm, for all of us.
caranthir: u might want to fight caranthir but don’t. i know it’s really funny when he turns red and u think you can just make him pass out from yelling at you before anyone lands a single punch. yes. that may be true. but what ur not thinking of is that this is the money guy. if u are on tumblr there is a high chance u are broke and will not be able to pay the legal fees he will attack u with. he will probably not accept ur invitation to settle things out of court. don’t fight caranthir, but give him a really dirty look.
curufin: u will not fight curufin. curufin will fight u. he is already fighting u, and u just didn’t know it. that is how curufin rolls and u honestly don’t stand a chance.
amrod&amras: unknown. these guys are scanty info central, and if u know anything about mysterious twins in fiction that means they’re probably serial killers. don’t fight amrod and amras, or at least bring a friend.
Everything about this post is perfect
