When George handed Tolkien the tape recorder, his skepticism towards it as a machine was deeply rooted in his personality. Because the machine could record and play back a human voice, Tolkien joked around that the tape recorder was possessed. That was why he began a recording session with exorcizing any demons living inside the machine. He did this by recording himself reciting the Lord’s Prayer.
But Tolkien didn’t recite the Lord’s Prayer in English. Neither did he recite it in Latin, which would have been expected considering that he was a devout Catholic. No, Tolkien being Tolkien, he recited the Lord’s Prayer in Gothic.
real talk why do so many fantasy universes think giant spiders are necessary
The sad part is there’s a decent chance a large proportion of them can be blamed on one spider.
The tarantula that bit JRR Tolkien as a child.
He swore he didn’t have a spider phobia and the experience had nothing to do with the man-eating giant spiders in The Hobbit, the even more giant and even more man-eating spider in Lord of the Rings, or the unholy eldritch spider from outside creation that plunged the world into darkness and made literal Satan scream like a little kid in the Silmarillion. Very few people believe him.
Given LotR’s influence in the fantasy genre, there is a high probability that tarantula is the progenitor of even more fictional spiders than Ungoliant was.
The swan honks and swims away from the intrustion, worrying at the sudden influx of beasts-that-have-wishes. This is becoming worse than the tall giants! In one of his fluttering outbursts, an alarming number of feathers flew free to float quite curiously in the water between them.
They spell a message!
Neithan no longer relieves himself in shrubbery after once getting a rash from choosing the wrong bush.
As the swan scurries away in horror to try fluffing himself back into an acceptable state, Nacharna finds herself with the curious and unquenchable desire to turn Salgant into an Elf-steak dinner.
Certainly Sauron will want to know of her victory over the swan! And if Salgant is there, well… Her Master has grown tired of his favorite Elves before now. She might be doing everyone a favour.
Shaking herself dry, Nacharna lopes off back to the fortress. She can wait to tease Neithan until she’s had a good meal.
((To everyone who was around for magic swan’s last run a year ago, welcome to phase four. For those new to this madness, you can see the insanity by browsing the tag. But here is some general information:
You interact with the magic, wish-granting swan through asks/submissions. Think of this as a m!a granting event. We do not have to be mutuals and you need not have threaded with me before – you can even send your asks on anon if you desire. Ask the swan for whatever item, power, effect, or event that you desire, but be careful what you wish for! There’s only about a 20% chance of your wish actually coming true. There’s also a 20% chance of you getting someone else’s wish. There’s a 60% chance of the opposite of your wish/a strange version of your wish being made real.
All effects of the magic swan last only 24 hours, but like any good m!a, if you’re enjoying it you have the right to prolong the effects for the sake of good RP. You may make multiple wishes for the magic swan, but beware the higher risk of things blowing up in your face. While one wish is active on you, try to wait that one out before making a new wish.))
Friend of a friend on facebook posted a picture with a caption “Someone in my smithing group got a free crate of high quality steel today in the form of “used casting molds”… I am at a loss for words.”
It’s dicks. A big box of metal dicks. Dildo molds. Just, hundreds of them.
And I can’t share it because I have family on facebook. And I’m not sure if I should repost it here because … they’re not my metal dicks.
But you should all know that there exists a big box of metal dicks that are probably going to be melted down into, I would hope, one giant metal dick.
MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive 