“I do not desire him,” Ossë protested, scowling at the corsair. They were seated on a rocky outcropping not far from shore, and a bottle of rum was open between them. “That was– firstly, you saw nothing, but whatever you imagined you saw beneath the waves that day, it was little more than– a moment’s weakness, I suppose. You could not understand, but he is– he is fire, as much as I am water, in a way. When we clash, it is a battle of elements with no true victor– water puts out fire, but in the process, it is swept away into steam and ashes. And there is something about that chemical reaction that I cannot explain to you, a creature of bones and flesh, but when it is put into song, into spirit… I could be swept away by that flame if I allowed myself to be. He could consume my very essence if I permitted it.”
The Ainu seemed to snap out of whatever imagery, whatever trance held him, and he shook his head. He grasped the bottle of rum harshly enough to shatter the neck, glass tinkling onto stone. “But I do not. Because as exhilarating as that might be, I know that I could not trust him to put me back together. And I value the Sea and my power far more than I fancy any chemical high. So you can stop fussing about it, pirate king – I am not about to elope with my cousin.”
“For a time I felt as though I could forget who I was, and what I had lost. He reminded of what I had given up in pursuit of war; all my inventions, my chance to innovate, to create. He let me imagine a new life, one unfettered by vengeance. With him I could be an entirely different person, one who could build, and heal, and love, as though my grief were surmountable.
It was a pleasant dream, beautiful and seductive while it lasted. But it was only a dream, destined to vanish upon waking.”
MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive 