Month: May 2017

Listen: I know I pick on Tolkien a lot around here. For a guy who loves Middle Earth as much as I do, I sure to spend a lot of time silently arguing with its creator. And you might ask, very reasonably, why? There are other fantasy pastures to graze in with ideologies more similar to my own, where maybe I wouldn’t feel so compelled to dig holes in the lawn. 

For me (and I’ve said as much before), questioning the biases in Tolkien’s work isn’t about deconstruction, but reconstruction; it’s a creative process that does so much more than just relieve the frustration I feel towards the text. It’s like… finding out that underneath the final version of the Mona Lisa, there’s a painting of her with eyebrows, and a real smile. Every time I ask What If, or Why, or How, or Who, I get to experience a brand new story; it repaints the whole legendarium with a different brush and a fresh set of colors. 

It is absolutely a generative, collaborative process that feels completely different than reading a story where I agree with the underpinnings as well as the primary text. I don’t, for instance, feel the need to deconstruct Discworld; I just read it, experience delight, let it take me wherever it’s going and say “ah! that was good!”, and then I get off the ride feeling happy. At no point do I hold the book in front of my face and unhinge my jaw to scream into it! There’s very little screaming! Almost know jaw-unhinging! You’d think that would be a more relaxing way to experience media! And it is!

But the stuff that sticks in my craw about Tolkien’s work and doesn’t let me sleep at night because damn it, that’s not how that WORKS, is the same stuff that leaves a window open for me to join that collaborative process. (And it does sometimes feel like I’m breaking and entering, because I am absolutely certain the Professor would object to the ways I choose to redecorate his house– but also, hey dude? Some of this stuff was hella racist and needs to be put out with the garbage anyway, so.)  

It’s only when I feel enchanted, and unsatisfied as a passive reader, that I’m compelled to engage as an artist and a writer, as a critical architect, or even just as an escapist who enjoys imagining familiar, epic moments from different angles. 

…That part is just Fanworks 101, I realize. But specifically, I love questioning THIS text because Tolkien’s framework is so uniquely rich that it can support this many retellings and re-envisionings. I wouldn’t still be here if I didn’t absolutely love the world and the characters and the professor’s enthusiasm for lore and language. I want to have these stories told to me again and again with different endings, and added depth, and a diverse cast, or else I’d have pitched my High Fantasy tent in Pratchett or Le Guin’s or Cherryh’s yard and never looked back. 

I guess what I’m saying is, when you see me furiously typing screeds about colonialism and competent antagonists and elven propaganda while shoving the book into my flaming maw and bellowing, know that it’s because it is my favorite book, and that is how I express gratitude. 

@alexecinz​

//Once again, I apologize for the format– When Will Tumblr’s Reply System Come Back From The War? T__T

The prose itself actually doesn’t bother me! I do love the archaisms and the larger-than-life characters (as evidenced by my… frankly embarrassing obsession with the Silmarillion and love of epic sagas). The lack of Hobbits in the Silmarillion is definitely a downer, even if I like to read more humanity into the legends than they appear on the page. I think Tolkien’s heart really shines through in the Hobbits. Every single time I’m frustrated with, as you put it, the lack of modernity in the more Epic Heroes, a Hobbit shows up and says something just… utterly pure and heartwarming and full of recognizable doubt and human sympathy. And I do treasure the moments when Aragorn bends down and flawlessly trolls the hell out of Merry in his sickbed, or Galadriel smiles and talks to Gimli in his own language, or Gandalf goes from being The Prophet Of Doom to an exasperated schoolmaster in the same page. The contrast between the Epic and the earthy is, as you say, truly one of the most charming and engaging points of the story.  

In so many ways, it’s not the style or the characters that bother me, it’s the lurking Edwardianisms and Catholic underpinnings that I find difficult to reconcile with my personal taste and code of ethics (I hasten to add, I don’t begrudge Tolkien or anyone else their Catholicism; it just comes with a recognizable bias that clashes with my own). Ironically, the Silmarillion manages to (mostly) bypass my distaste alarms by going Full Epic– there are NO farmers or barkeeps or talking trees to give us the view at ground level, and so all there is to do really is follow the striving of the mighty against the forces of the gods, with a bucket of popcorn and not much concern for the collateral damage.    (It’s also got far more recognizable pagan myth origins in it, which assuages my prickly feelings about the religious sentiment).  

Maybe it’s that same contrast, seeing the recognizable modernity of hobbits and Strider along side the One True Kingliness of Aragorn Elessar that draws my attention to the elements of One True Kingliness itself that I find questionable. Having the legendary bits coexisting along with the earthy bits just makes me think that, if I were a working Hobbit, I’d want to know why indeed a shiny piece of elfglass gave a fellow the right to represent me and the interests of my vegetables. 

@i-gwarth​  Tumblr is not letting me reply to messages anymore?????  (???)

But YEAH, Yes. Exactly.  I cannot afford NOT to be wary of that sort of language. That kind of language is responsible for an immense amount of harm, to the world and to me personally. 

AND INSULTINGLY, Tolkien frequently holds up wishy-washy, “Let’s-Hear-Both-Sides-And-See-What-Happens” councilors and propagandistic language as tools of the enemy– things to beware of. And I’d like to agree with him! Except that he clearly shows both sides using the same or similar tools to achieve their ends. 

Tolkien’s protagonists rely on is this *sense* of evil; when Evil speaks it does so in fair words which cannot be trusted, while Good speaks the truth, whether or not it seems fair (which is why Gandalf gets shit everywhere he goes for being the Bearer of Bad News).  In theory, right and wrong should therefore be easily parsed: Objective Reality ought to be the focal point of the text’s moral compass. Mordor is untrustworthy and bad because what Mordor DOES is bad; they tear up trees and torture people and Sauron has is historically and personally opposed the Edain in all they do. Meanwhile, what Gondor does is good because they have libraries and trees and value wisdom and peace and kittens, while valiant warmongering is listed as a trait gained in the decline of its wisdom. 

But it just ain’t always so! The text frequently tells us one thing and shows us another, usually muddier, reality. 

If you run down a side-by-side list of “Things Sauron Has Done” and “Things Numenor/Gondor/Gandalf Have Done”, they come out looking disturbingly similar, right down to bullet-points such as: Torture, Cursing People with Undeath (”I only made NINE! Isildur made a whole tribe into ghost zombies!”), violent total slaughter and disrespectful treatment of enemy dead, slavery (not depicted but frequently mentioned), destroying enemy cities, keeping vassal states and people, conquering territories both peaceful and belligerent–

And on the flip side, both sides can also claim: having the loyal and willing service of kingdoms generations after their initial rise to power, creating things of lasting functionality and worth, giving due notice to enemies before invasion and offering fairly reasonable terms of surrender and reparation, not discriminating on a basis of skin color, religion, species, or class– OH WAIT, THAT ONE WAS JUST MORDOR. 

The actual reality of the situation is that neither side is wholly despicable or wholly trustworthy. They each have a particular aim– and that is keeping their respective dynasties in power. And we are told to believe that one side is better than the other mostly because it is being held up as a Symbol Of Good, and for me, that rings all kinds of alarm bells; especially when the text leaves so much obscured.  

Yes, yes, one side loves books and singing and waterfalls, and the other side looks like Hell On Toast. But Mordor has been at war for literal Ages with the entirety of the West, forced back into itself, cut off from trade and probably forced to mine its own resources, to the point of making the already sparse volcanic environment unsalvageable. Last time it had occupancy, it was on the losing end of a protracted siege, after which, the forces of Gondor razed everything to the ground! And we never get to see Sauron’s empire in the East. We only know a couple of things about his rule there, and those are: A) he was worshiped, B) people followed him into battle generations after his previous rule, and C) the local populace really, really hated Numenorian/Gondorian rule but tolerated Sauron’s. 

What was THAT kingdom like? How successful and prosperous was it in its heyday? Does the East also have citadels and libraries and music? They must! They’re humans! We only see how Sauron treats his enemies (specifically the Edain and Elves), and his troops. (His orc troops, who we’re told are slaves, seem like they’ve actually got a pretty standard deal as far as foot soldiers go, and from their dialogue we can presume they won’t be forced to serve after Sauron wins the war.)  This is meant to provide us with all the evidence we need to reject him as an unlawful tyrant. (Also, he doesn’t have a shiny rock.)

Humanity in Real-Life Non-Fantasy Earth has done far worse things in the last century than Sauron ever did given thousands of years’ time to cause trouble. It’s not enough evidence for me to be comfortable with a Biblical condemnation of one side of what appears to be a fairly complex struggle– especially when it bears uncomfortable resemblance to historical and contemporary excuses made by western imperialists to justify the conquest of eastern territories, and the erasure of their “barbaric” cultures, due to the threat of their “spreading tyranny” and non-Christian religions.

And in fact, propagandistic language is used most excessively by the narration to justify the author’s choice of rightful authority. …And all I can say to that is, in the words of the wise mud-farmer: “I didn’t vote for you”.

Saying ‘the enemy will always reveal himself to be a fraudulent coward and a liar despite all appearances otherwise’ is every bit an untrustworthy statement, even if it’s coming from the mouth of Gandalf or the voice of the Narrator.

Today, on “Passages that make Wesley Absolutely Livid”:

This is the longest episode of pure wank i’ve ever had please bear with me I need to get this out of my system because I’ve been mainlining the triology for three nights and I have Not Slept and I Must Scream: 

image

Wow, okay, we get it.  You’re a badass, Aragorn. You’re stern and kingly as hell.

You’re so kingly that sometimes your Divine Right To Rule literally shines out of your face like the Bat Signal, changing your whole appearance and personality to reveal your final form of Elessar the One True Ordained Douchelord. The force of your worryingly pure bloodline is enough to cow lesser men into awe and terror. Got it. 

Apparently you can also make a guy who works for Sauron, the dude made famous by the force of his stinkeye, flinch just by looking at him.  

…So Mouthy goes on to smack talk every present and then delivers Sauron’s terms and Gandalf is like “OH YeAH? WELL, SHAKE ON IT.”

image

DEADLY FENCING MATCH??

GANDALF. ALL YOU DID WAS SAY “WHAT IF NO, THO.” And the dude is all

“What? I–? How dare–?? I’ve never–! No one has EVER–!! Disagreed? With ME??  My training didn’t cover this! All my dark arts, unraveled! What do I say?? What do I do???”

and then: 

image

OKAY

OKAY

ALRIGHT. OKAY. 

LISTEN, IF: 

JUST–

image

Okay. 

THIS IS THE MOST EXTRA, OVER THE TOP, VAUDEVILLIAN PERFORMANCE I HAVE EVER WITNESSED. 

I AM SPEECHLESS WITH FURY.

THE BOOK IS HALFWAY DOWN MY OPEN, SCREAMING MOUTH. 

You did this with Wormtongue. You did this with Saruman. You did this with pretty much every agent of evil you’ve ever introduced. It shouldn’t surprise me. 

This is like the early Christian parables where literally any servant of the devil up to and including Satan Himself can be thoroughly and instantly repelled by pretty much just reminding them that Jesus was a thing. Evil is somehow both Overwhelmingly Prevalent And Powerful but also Cowardly, Flinching, And Easily Outed . A stern reminder of their flaws and they will pretty much roll over and expose themselves as the pathetic, dribbly, whinging cravens they are. 

And I’m not saying whinging pathetic cravens don’t become powerful. We elected one to office, I can’t even pretend that doesn’t happen. BUT WHEN YOU ARE THIS -OBVIOUSLY INCOMPETENT AND TRANSPARENTLY DEPRAVED-, you don’t tend to stay in power long. When you go Full Caligula, you do tend to be assassinated and replaced by the lesser evils, is what I’m saying. 

But like….  SAURON, THO. His thousand-year-old Numenorian herald, tho?? 

Sauron is the one, single living example of a kind-of-competent villain in this series! We know this because the good guys are always just a hair’s breadth away from losing to him at all times, and also because you keep telling us he is. This ain’t Sauron’s first rodeo, he’s been Evil since day #2 of Evil’s invention. He’s got this on lock down, there’s no reason for him to tolerate inept servants.

And if your herald, your ambassador going to negotiate terms with the advancing army, visibly shits himself in front of the enemy’s captain, it is Time To Get A New Herald. Because your herald is Bad and has done A Bad Job. Sauron doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who’d employ a bad herald. There’s a reason he was giving this dude Saruman’s job: because Saruman was a bad liar* and a coward who couldn’t hold things together in a pinch and lost his complete shit when confronted about it. Dark lord got no time for scrubs! 

 AND THEN THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE HAPPENS– REALLY, DUDE? YOU HAD THIS DANG THING IN THE BAG, with the Hobbit coat and the terms of surrender and LITERALLY the ENTIRE ARMY AND FORCE OF MORDOR at your back the whole time, but you get glared at and pee yourself and forget how to make words happen??…. I just– I don’t….

Ya lost me man, I don’t believe the thing you made me read with my eyes! Because it is fucking implausible as hell! It’s frankly insulting that you’d have me believe this. No. I can’t. I won’t. I refuse. SOMEONE AROUND HERE HAS TO KNOW WHAT THEY’RE FUCKING DOING, THE EMPIRE OF MORDOR WAS NOT BUILT TO FALL OVER AT THE FIRST STIIFF PATRONIZING BREEZE OF CONTENTION. 

ALL OF YOUR VILLAINS CAN’T BE TIGERS MADE OF CARDBOARD, THIS IS INSANE. THIS IS BAD. THIS ISN’T EVEN ABOUT THE HERALD ANY MORE. 

I DON’T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT HOW THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF MORDOR ARE PRETTY MUCH EXACTLY THE SAME ONES GIVEN BY NUMENOR TO THE PEOPLE OF MIDDLE EARTH (just kidding, I really, really do)

I WANT YOU TO ADMIT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO MAKE BAD GUYS THREATENING WITHOUT ACCIDENTALLY MAKING THEM COMPETENT AND POSSIBLY SYMPATHETIC– 

I WANT YOU TO /ADMIT/ THAT EVERY TIME YOU DO WRITE YOURSELF INTO THIS CORNER, YOU HAVE TO NERF THE HELL OUT OF YOUR OWN VILLAINS BECAUSE OTHERWISE THEY WOULDN’T FIT THE EXTRAORDINARILY LIMITING, BINARY CHRISTIAN IDEAL OF EVIL. 

THIS IS WHY WE DON’T HAVE A CONSENSUS ON THE ORIGIN OF ORCS, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T HAVE SOMETHING BE IRREDEEMABLY EVIL AND EXIST IN A WORLD MADE BY A BENEVOLENT ALL-POWERFUL CREATOR. BUT IF EVERYTHING BAD EVER MADE IS A CORRUPTION AND A MOCKERY AND AN INHERENTLY INFERIOR COPY OF SOMETHING GOOD, IF IT NEVER DID ANYTHING REASONABLE OR SUSTAINABLE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF TIME, IT’D FUCKING COLLAPSE UNDER ITS OWN SHITTINESS. 

THE BINARY DOES NOT HOLD. 

SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE. 

THIS WILL NOT STAND. I WILL NOT HAVE IT, TOLKIEN, THIS IS THE HILL I WILL FUCKING DIE ON AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. 

ME. 

GOD. 

OKay. 

okay. 

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SHIT I LOVE HOBBITS SO MUCH PRAISE THE FUCKING LORD

—–

*Saruman is a Bad Liar because he makes shit up from whole cloth and sells it to you like a used car salesman, using the brute force of his magic to make it seem more plausible than it is.  Sauron, on the other hand, is a great liar. He doesn’t have to make things up because spinning the truth is much easier; he cherrypicks real information and serves it to you in a way that leads to you agreeing with him. He very rarely tells absolute lies, and his lies are defensible; that is why he is the Best At Lying. 

Napuctun speaks

(Christian):

What David predicted once,
God accomplished it
Blessed is the Christian sword
truly precious, such a warrior;
confident in the image of The Cross
as their strongest shield,

with power of the holy wrath
will hunt you down, heathen tribes.
The emperor’s sword, at war,
and the pope’s sword, godly and full of
glory,
are getting down together
to the root of all evil,
the disdainful virus of falsity.

(Maya):

What has been written
will be fullfilled.
what has been spoken
will come to be.

Burn, burn, burn
on earth we shall burn
become cinders in
the blowing wind
drift over the land
over the mountains
out to sea..
So you may not comprehend it 

So you may not understand it; he will come who knows

how the ages unfold

Weep, weep, weep

but know, know well:

Ash does not suffer,

Ash does not suffer.

“Where is your son, Faramir?” 

“He lies within; burning, already burning. They have set a fire in his flesh. But soon all shall be burned. The West has failed. It shall all go up in a great fire, and all shall be ended. Ash! Ash and smoke blown away on the wind!” 

ridddermark:

middle earth aesthetics → gondor

even as pippin gazed in wonder the walls passed from looming grey to white, blushing faintly in the dawn; and suddenly the sun climbed over the eastern shadow and sent forth a shaft that smote the face of the city. then pippin cried aloud, for the tower of ecthelion, standing high within the topmost wall, shone out against the sky, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver, tall and fair and shapely, and its pinnacle glittered as if it were wrought of crystals; and white banners broke and fluttered from the battlements in the morning breeze, and high and far he heard a clear ringing as of silver trumpets.

Source: ridddermark

// That’s all the Untrustworthy Gifts I’m doing for this round! I didn’t get to everyone, but don’t worry, this meme will be back around again, seeing as I never get tired of it. x)

Thank you everyone for your prompts! ❤ You make the world go round.

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