Apologies, Grima Wormtongue is to me what YOU DON’T HAMMER RINGS ON AN ANVIL is to others 🙂 Tolkien gets accused of lack of subtlety and black-and-white morality and that’s a fair criticism, but with Grima he was trying to show “it’s the respectable, responsible voices telling you that you need to make compromises and be sensible” that you have to watch out for, because they are so persuasive and sound so reasonable. Like Palpatine!
Very understandable! 😉 I’m glad Grima has a champion looking out for his textual representation
May I just point out Peter Jackson’s Wormtongue was not at all in appearance Tolkien’s Wormtongue, who looked and sounded like a respectable and grave and intelligent elder counsellor? Which is why most of the Rohirrim trusted him or at least gave him the benefit of the doubt?
Darling, we know. It was a goofy fun times joke.
MisbehavingMaiar:
The wraiths WERE pretty subtle? It’s just that hobbits and Breelanders are super paranoid about most Queer And Strange Folk That Come By The Road And Have A Grim Look About Them.
Lindethiel:
I mean, I’d be suspicious of that look too tho
MisbehavingMaiar:
…I guess they could have hissed less. Or tried not being The Spookiest all the time.
Lindethiel:
THAT ISN’T SUBTLE!
THAT’S “HELLO I’M BAD NEWS AND IMMA FUCK UP YOUR LIFE”.
You want subtle, you get a normal looking dude with a beer belly, THAT’S SUBTLE
MisbehavingMaiar:
*slides the innkeeper $20*
“Hey man, you got– you got any hobbits? >_> I’m just sayin I know a guy who pays top dollar for hobbits”
MisbehavingMaiar:
LOOK, WE RAN OUT OF NORMAL LOOKING DUDES IN MORDOR SOMETIME AROUND THE SECOND AGE. WRAITHS ARE THE BEST WE GOT.
Lindethiel:
WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE WORKING ON YOUR AD CAMPAIGN?
MisbehavingMaiar:
We got some locals to help out in Bree and other places! It’s just that apparently, everyone we interact with Has A Queer Look About Them And Folks Like Them Not
Lindethiel:
MY POINT EXACTLY. RECRUIT BETTER LOOKING PEOPLE.
MisbehavingMaiar:
We tried! It’ can’t be helped! Wholesome potbellied folks are just inherently do-gooders! That leaves us with sleazebags, people who squint a lot, and Folks Not From Round Here With Foul Air About Them That Make The Horses Wary.
Lindethiel:
SARUMAN’S PARTNER IN CRIME LOOKED LIKE HE LIVED IN A SEWER AND LIKED TO WATCH CHILDREN ON THE PLAYGROUND.
A khanda broadsword from Rajasthan, Northern India, in the mid-1800s, with a couple of extras in the form of a katar punch-dagger and a single-shot percussion pistol. Decisions, decisions, which one to use first?
In fact given the Indian swordsmiths’ fondness for tucking away a hidden sting in the tail, there may even have been a version of this with a stiletto that screwed up inside the grip. Rather like these…
And the katar dagger could have been enhanced as well…
Indian weapons are a great source of inspiration for writers and artists who want something a bit OTT but with the realism that comes of having actually existed.
There are many ways to craft rings (for those of you who can’t shape metal with your mind)!
One simple method is simply to drill a hole in an appropriately sized disc of metal, and mill it out on a lathe until it fits the desired proportions. A bit crude, not much room for artistry, but effective.
Another popular method is to hammer out a strip of metal (yes, for this step and this step only, one might see a smith bent over the anvil with a flatter) and coax it around a die until the ends meet and can be welded together. Welded rings can be very elaborate, set with stones, cut into lovely shapes, but depending on the strength of the bond and the delicacy of the materials, one might sacrifice durability.
And then there is my favorite and arguably the best method: metal casting! First one carves a model of one’s ring out of wax, making sure to leave in spurs as conduits for the wax to flow out of the mold and the metal to flow in. Then one encases the wax ring in molding material, secure within a mother-mold. Heating the mold burns out the wax, leaving a hollow inside mold in the shape of your ring. Then it is only a matter of pouring in the desired metals, letting them cool, and then completing the project by sawing off the spurs, filing down the metal, and adding whatever embellishments the design requires.
Naturally, one finished any fired piece by giving it a good pickling in acid and a high polish! Then you teach your friends the process, adding in a pinch of blood magic and sorcery, and murder them when they use your techniques to thwart your plans!
*cough*
In any case, none of the methods above will look like this:
Or this
Or this
GODDAMNIT, SHADOW OF MORDOR
WHAT, EXACTLY, ARE YOU HAMMERING?
—Me, at every picture of Sauron, Celebrimbor, or Fëanor, crafting either RINGS or GEMSTONES on an ANVIL with a GIANT HAMMER raised high above their heads (via misbehavingmaiar)
Now I’m just imagining the poor Orc who has to paint Sauron’s portrait and he’s trying to explain that just maybe he needs a more dynamic shot with a raised hammer so Sauron will like his portrait (this century) and no one will have to be gutted in punishment and Sauron is just NOT HEARING IT because he knows what fucking jewelsmithing looks like
MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive 