
Month: August 2017
Sauron: as a ruler I really love being high up in my tower and doing nothing
Sauron: oh my god I’m turning into Manwe
3rd Age Middle-Earth Cryptids
Tom Bombadil
The Creature Gollum™
Entwives(???)
Barrow Wights
MAGLOR
Bonus: Legolas’s mom
I lost Gregory.
He didn’t die, I just… physically lost him.
Goodbye my wayward son, you beautiful death machine
….In other news I think I may have broken the game by riding a Horned Graug into the orc fortress and eating like, four captains?
I was DEFINITELY not supposed to be riding these guys yet. My swath of destruction made the game forget how to do sounds, so great was the carnage.
His name is Gregory and I love him very much


makin my way downtown, stomping fast
….In other news I think I may have broken the game by riding a Horned Graug into the orc fortress and eating like, four captains?
I was DEFINITELY not supposed to be riding these guys yet. My swath of destruction made the game forget how to do sounds, so great was the carnage.
i-gwarth
replied to your photo “OOH LOOK I found m’ bae!! Celebrimbor said something after we dug him…”
did you find the spelling guide using Feanor’s name yet?
YAAAASSSS it was so cute :’D
i love all the Artifact descriptions, the writers are such nerds ❤
tartapplesauce replied to your post “I hate Torvin ._. The least dwarvish dwarf ever written. Where’s his…”
Oh I’m just throwing up my hands and rolling with it, to be honest. Making new rings of power? settling in Mordor? setting yourself up as a new dark lord? what the why the how my brain is melted. That revving sound you hear is Tolkien turning in his grave so fast, he will rotate right out of the ground. AND APPARATE AS A WRATHFUL, VENGEFUL SPIRIT TO BEAT THE EVERLOVIN’ SEVEN SHADES OF SUNSHINE OUT OF WRAITHBRIMBOR AND HIS MORTAL PAL. I mean – SEXY SEDUCTIVE SHELOB? Well okay, I can go there, I can see if we kind of imagine she’s more like Thuringwethil or something than – no, sorry, this is the OFFSPRING OF UNGOLIANT, SHE WHO SCARED MORGOTH SO BAD HE CRIED FOR HIS MOMMY AND THE BALROGS HAD TO RESCUE HIM
Omgsh, I see where you’re coming from ‘Applesauce, but I actually don’t agree at all! :O
So far, Torvin is my one and only complaint about their use of canon; I think the devs did a very reasonable job of integrating their story with the existing ones, despite the limitations of copyrights. (Mind you, I’m still in the second half of the game; I can’t speak for…. whatever happens next.)
One interview with the devs said something like “you can’t just make a game and slap an IP over it” and I really feel like that’s the spirit of SoM*. They wanted to make a game FOR fans who want to explore Tolkien’s world first-hand, filling in behind the scenes of the main story, through the eyes of mainly soldiers and civilians– which I LOVE SO MUCH. I mean, it’s fanfiction, sure! But so far it’s been very good fanfiction, far better than I had any right to expect from a big game franchise.
*Actually, let me just link to that: It’s a really wonderful and extensive article from Polygon on Tolkien adaptations, from Bakshi onwards. The stuff about SoM is at the end, and it’s Super Duper Good, I highly recommend reading it. They talk like people who have the same respect and love of the original material as we do, and I appreciate it very much.
What would Tolkien think of the game? We don’t know, and it’s not really our place to speculate. However, MY trouble with Torvin is that I have some very specific and deep-seated opinions on the Khazad, and I absolutely don’t jive with like 85% of the cinematic versions’ portrayal of them as short, gruff Scotsmen with a disdain for delicacy and manners. It erases their background; i.e., Tolkien’s stated intent for them to have roots in jewish culture.
I have a vested interest in the portrayal of dwarves, and I hate that they’re stripped of their complexity and jewishness every time they’re brought to screen. Torvin here just happens to be the clumsiest example of that tendency, as well as making very little sense in context. I mean– the character makes sense, but not the fact that he’s a dwarf. The same character could have been filled more convincingly by any of the Men local to the area, who are hardened and wild and living in Mordor already. But I guess they wanted to have more variety in the cast besides Men, Orcs, and an elf ghost? Anyway, like I said: so far he’s my only real complaint (besides fridged wives).
…Also he makes a stupid vaguely sexist joke about his wife, so fuck ‘im. You don’t talk shit about dwarrowdams on my watch, mister. >:|
I hate Torvin ._. The least dwarvish dwarf ever written. Where’s his beard. Why does he make bad wife jokes. Why is he in Mordor. Where is his beard. Where is it. Why did they choose to make the rude beardless anti-authoritarian beast hunter a Khazad it makes no sense.

OOH LOOK I found m’ bae!!
Celebrimbor said something after we dug him up to the effect of “Ah yes, the First Dark Lord. Sauron was his servant; loyal till the end, and after.”
AWWW TYELPE :’D THAT’S SO SWEET, THANK YOU
This ae nighte, this ae nighte,
Every nighte and alle,
Fire and fleet and candle-lighte,
And Christe receive thy saule.When thou from hence away art past
To Whinny-muir thou com’st at lastIf ever thou gavest hosen and shoon,
Sit thee down and put them on;If hosen and shoon thou ne’er gav’st nane
The whinnes sall prick thee to the bare bane.From Whinny-muir when thou may’st pass,
To Brig o’ Dread thou com’st at last;From Brig o’ Dread when thou may’st pass,
To Purgatory fire thou com’st at last;If ever thou gavest meat or drink,
The fire sall never make thee shrink;If meat or drink thou ne’er gav’st nane,
The fire will burn thee to the bare bane;This ae nighte, this ae nighte,
Every nighte and alle,
Fire and fleet and candle-lighte,
And Christe receive thy saule.

-“whinny-muir” refers to whin, also known as gorse or furze, the thorny, yellow-flowering evergreens which grow throughout Britain, particularly on the moors.
photo by paul ritchie on flickr
The lava lake of the continuously active volcano Erta Ale, Ethiopia. (Source)
As a geologist, I want to dip my hands in it, but as a person with basic common sense, I know I shouldn’t.
Discworld x Tolkien crossover where Vimes arrests the One Ring for being an accessory to murder






