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“But there was in Thranduil’s heart a still deeper shadow. He had seen the horror of Mordor and could not forget it. If ever he looked south its memory dimmed the light of the Sun.” JRR Tolkien, Unfinished Tales
The Elvenking in Winter (book version), by Soni Alcorn-Hender
Acrylics, pure silver leaf, and 22k gold leaf on paper; 21×29 cms.
Dwarves shit huge and pee little… elves pee large and shit barely at all
Dwarves work in mines, their kidneys are in overdrive clearing all of the toxins and heavy metals they come into contact with. Their diet is mostly high efficiency foods, such as meat and fat and mushrooms. They probably don’t get a lot of plant matter in their diets.
Meanwhile elves’ diet is almost 100% plant matter (and all of the fiber that comes along with that) and their lifestyle is obsessed with fresh air, clean water, and a pure environment.
Face the facts: dwarves pee huge and shit little, and elves shit large and pee barely at all
However:
Dwarves find belching polite and good fun, a compliment to the drink and cook. Farting, however, is crass– after all, farting in a mine shaft? Just think about it. It’s like blasting your buddies in the car and locking the windows, but in this case there are no windows to lock. You’re just sealed up in the darkness, inhaling Dvalin’s particular brand of beer-cheese-eggs-and-mushroom while your beard hairs curl and your eyes water.
Conversely, Elves rip ass all the time because they subsist on fart fuel. Because they eat plant matter, they aren’t too ripe but they are loud enough to rattle the surrounding forestry, which the Elves delight in. Proper Elvish farts are released right next to an innocent victim in a stealth maneuver, as quietly as possible. The aggressor stands innocently nearby, until the victim begins to protest and complain and accuse, at which time a good laugh is had by all (except the unfortunate victim). The other beloved Elvish tradition is to loudly rip one in a quiet room, then firmly and solemnly chasten the nearest Elf for it– this one is favored by elder, Elves with the most dignified personalities.
Who the fuck decided we needed this?
God did when she moved my fingers to type the original post.
It’s been nothing but hardship and regret from there on, but I still trust that it’s part of a greater plan.
Jggfjkjffb
Fyi
This is all high gospel and we’re being taken to church
Flyg Maria Nyckelpiga, fladdra, surr och spinn. Hämta tusen tomtebloss, och så dem i mitt sinn.
Far mitt lilla sockergryn, far från famn till famn. Hämta sagor där åt mig, om storm och lom till hamn.
Hämta skal från drakens ägg, eld från häxans spis. Kungens äpplen, drottnings sylt, kejsarns vita ris. Vatten ifrån Mimers brunn, frukt från paradis. Och kom sen snällt tillbaks till mig, på nyckelpigors vis.
Ja flyg Maria Nyckelpiga, fladdra, surr och spinn. Hämta tusen tomtebloss, och så dem i mitt sinn. Far mitt lilla sockergryn, far från famn till famn. Hämta tusen tomtebloss, och så dem i min hamn.
Y’know, I think the biggest drawback to the whole ‘ageless elf’ archetype is that our elf warriors and adventuresses all end up being young-looking. So this image of a middle-aged, grey-haired, veteran elvish knight in slightly battered—but distinctly elvish—armor delights me to no end.
Return of the Dragon by O. Goushchin Bulat, gold, silver,
diamonds, rubies, ebony. Forging, engraving, art casting, tack stones,
artistic etching, wood carving.
So me and @snakecozies were having a chat about Sauron and how when and how we started to ship him in the first place. We were both affected by @phobso which I think a lot of people can relate to.
The chat then shifted to how Sauron’s popularity seemed to have risen only recently(as in the last 10 or so years, which is not very long compared to how the Tolkien fandom has been around for much longer) and we became interested in the possible factors that affected this.
The points we thought for this sudden rise were:
“Hobbit trilogy” from 2012-2014 bringing in new and old fans back to the Tolkien fandom
effect of Phobs designing a humanised (like having a face) Sauron, (also roughly around 2012)
the popularity of villain characters in general in recent years (2010s onward)
……Then I remembered that the name “Mairon“ only came out rather recently (2007 in a Tolkien newsletter) and we thought of how the name sounded rounder and more precious compared to Sauron or Gorthaur. (personally I thught Annatar sounded more awe evoking than precious-ish but may be that’s just me).
So maybe, just maybe, by having the name “Mairon” come out to the world, Sauron quite possibly gained popularity from it and thus became “Mairon the Admirable“ in the fandom as well as in the stories.
Since names are important factors in the stories, the possibility of the effect of “a name” being significant in real life too gave (at least to me) a strange and interesting thought that I wanted to share with you guys.
I’d love to hear about your opinion on this, especially from people who’ve been in the fandom way longer than me who’d have more accurate information on the fandom history.
I know there were fans of him before the name came out but I still think it did make him more popular.
So, the strike out of soliciting opinions from this means that you’re not amenable to such? I do, in fact, have An Opinion™ about this.
HA! A post after my owne heart.
I’ll be honest about this: I have developed a deep dislike of the use of the term “Mairon” as the fandom employs it. For one thing it is used to soften a character whose very charm and likeability stems from his not being soft. “Mairon The Admirable” has become almost like an entirely original, fan-created character at this point, with fic after fic not even mentioning “Sauron”. And let’s be frank here, Phobs drawing of Sauron has been linked to that heavily, even though iF YOU READ HER OPINION she clearly doesn’t like how the fandom has turned him into Middle Earth Zoisite.
For another thing…. It’s pretty much deadnaming. Sauron isn’t just a moniker the Elves gave him. “The abomination” was an identity he himself assumed, as part of the whole “rule by fear”, “going evil”, “all things under the sun are my enemy” thing. It’s not a name he rejects, it’s one he embraces. And it serves him very well when “Sauron” is seen as such a monstrous historical evil that this new “Annatar” fellow what just showed up… well he just can’t be him, no matter what Galadriel says. It’s the employment of his own imfamy to his advantage. The sort of thing you kinda expect from Middle Earth Blofeld.
Removing that angle, that deeply sadistic, cruel elegance that’s like… the one thing LOTR actually bothers to tell us about him in-text, is pretty obnoxious to me. It supplants a seminal villain with… well, with an OC. Something transformative, non-textual, non-canonical. Again, bearing more than a few resemblances to certain 90′s anime boys.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD Thank You,
In canon, he refers to himself as Thû (Lay of Leithian), and his servants refer to him as Sauron (LotR). If he wanted to be known by a more glamorous title, he’d surely be styling himself as such and enforcing it amongst his allies. From the onset of this blog and all my projects i’ve treated “Mairon” as a deadname; in my roleplays, headcanons, and fics, Sauron actively objects and corrects people who refer to him by this name; the name that was given to him by his old master, for his old life as a Maia of Aulë, a life he rejected.
On the flip side of the coin, Melkor calls himself “Melkor”. The one excerpt we have of him in conversation with Húrin makes it clear that he still thinks of himself as the Mighty Arising, no less powerful or worthy than he was a the start of creation. “I am the Elder King, Melkor, first and mightiest of all the Valar, who was before the world, and made it” (Children of Hurin, chapter 3). He does not style himself as Morgoth Bauglir, the name his enemies gave him; it is Sauron who seems to take delight in the monikers “Cruel” and “Dark”, not his master.
*Also yes, yes DEFINITELY there were fans of Sauron before the name Mairon came out, as @lucifers-cuvette will happily tell you.
MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive 