A box appears in Sauron’s forge with several carefully wrapped artifacts within it. The box smell of sea salt as does the note sitting on top which reads: Since you have decide to proclaim yourself my fairy godfather, I thought I would ask for some help from you if I may. The items inside I found on a dive, but I can’t seem to fully restore them, but I certainly don’t have somethings you do. Perhaps you can help me. If not send them back, and I’ll simply keep them.-Mitsalaume(daughterxftheseas)

He raised the letter to his face, inhaling deeply and exhaling with a hum of curiosity at the subtle, marine fragrance. The handwriting was blocky, yet confident; a child’s penmanship. “Fairy” was an odd way of describing a Maia, but not unheard of, and there was only one person who he could reasonably assume to be his distant ward– if only in a ceremonial sense.

 He sat down to write: 

“Dear Mitsalaumë,
You’re very clever to have restored these as fully as you have. I imagine they have been submerged for quite some time. Do you know what they are for?

These are prayer beads; carved of boxwood, they feature scenes from the Ainulindalë, the First Music. I have only seen them referenced in texts, since they are almost exclusively made and used by the Vanyar of Aman. However they came to be at the bottom of the sea is a mystery to me. 

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I can see the difficulty you must be facing: the final bead is glued shut by some sort of mollusk’s secretions, and the wood has swollen with water, rendering the hinge useless.

I have done my best to coax the wood fibers back to their original shape, and used a solvent to remove the encrusting material. Woodworking is not my usual métier, but I have learned a few tricks here and there.

(If you can pardon the blasphemy, you might call Yavanna my “godmother”, as spouse of Aulë. Her retinue and Aulë’s sometimes mingled, and I did not close my ears to their Music.)

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As you can see, the final bead now opens, revealing an intricate scene of the birth of Manwë. (I note Melkor is omitted in this revision of history. Typical.) 

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You’ve found something very rare and extremely beautiful. Craftsmanship like this is something to be treasured, however distasteful I may find the subject matter. Keep it safe, and DRY if you can. 

By the by, does your father know you’re writing me? We can keep this our little secret, if you wish.

Ever at your service, 
~S. 

TASTIEST TYPES OF MAIAR! GO!

OROMË’S MAIAR ARE GAMEY AND STRINGY, YAVANNA’S TASTE LIKE PINE NEEDLES; ULMO’S ARE A GOOD BET IF YOU LIKE SUSHI, BUT WATCH OUT FOR THE SPINES….

I DUNNO FRIEND THERE’S NOT A LOT OF GRASS-FED MAIAR OUT THERE.  But I hear if you lick one of Irmo’s you’ll hallucinate? 

my lord Sauron you don’t like waxing but what about the opposite? what if someone were to like. give you a full body massage with rogaine or something?

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TOUCH ME WITH THAT FILTH, AND I WILL MAKE SHOES OF YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES 

Not fond of hairless-ness, are you? And you say that it is a trait of all the maia, or ex-maia for some, of Aule? Then how do you explain the hairless obsession of your, brother is it? A certain admirable (wink) one? Or is he just a rare exception?

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I am not responsible for the poor aesthetic choices of my brethren. 

If he wishes to slip about like a scaleless eel, so be it. It is no business of mine if the Eruhini mistake him for a fledgling girl, with the smooth hands of a milkmaid. 

Mairon comes across as a teddy bear considering “evil” and all. What are his ideas of morality? Besides robbing body hair.

If you’re new to this blog, I definitely recommend checking out my tags for a more definitive answer. 🙂 I’ve had this blog a long time and the way I play Sauron (he prefers “Sauron” over “Mairon” for reasons that you can find in the headcanons tag and the character bio) has developed over time, but for the most part I can say he is painfully lawful evil. 

-He- doesn’t think he’s evil; he is confident that his actions are justified and fit well within his own criteria of acceptable conduct. He is aware that terrible things happen during war, and he is also aware that he is responsible for many of those terrible things, but for the most part he considers those to be in service of a greater goal (with a few personal indulgences here and there because sometimes shit gets real and vengeance is tasty. Also he’s a sadist and he likes to treat himself.) 

Sauron thinks of himself as reasonable, accommodating, and pragmatic. The ends always justify the means, though he does have regrets about avoidable mayhem and deaths. He has a fully functioning sense of empathy and compassion, it’s just that he doesn’t let those things stop him from achieving his, and his Master’s, goals. 

He is terribly manipulative, and will stack odds in his favor whenever possible, but he always uses the veneer of truth, the letter of the law, to mask his deceit.  

Again, he doesn’t consider himself evil. He doesn’t make grand displays of villainous pomp unless it will gain him something. He doesn’t use force when force is not necessary, he isn’t cruel when it is in his interests to be kind, and he is loathe to waste resources on senseless acts of brutality. (Mind you, this attitude changes by the time he’s a bitter old shadow lurking in Barad-dur in the Third Age). He has seen what stubbornness and pride get you, and he prefers to be flexible– something Melkor had a hand in teaching him. 

It’s important to note that his own perception of himself changes considerably once Melkor is imprisoned in the Void. He loses a great deal of his confidence without a definite cause to rally behind. He begins to see himself more as a force of vengeance, with the goal of carrying out Melkor’s wishes in his absence and punish those he views as responsible for his downfall. 

And yes, he’s a bit cuddly sometimes. XD
My Sauron is very much a hedonist, and enjoying the pleasures of the material world is something he considers in line with Melkor’s values and his own. He likes bodies, and what bodies can do with other bodies– an attitude that is regarded as distasteful and dangerous by the Valar and most Ainur. Indulging the flesh is an act of rebellion and part of Melkor’s grand vision of freedom. Plus, it’s just dang fun! And he’s got a lot of time on his hands as an immortal. He enjoys pleasing others; he’s still sort of essentially built for service, even if he’s a rebel. 
 He can be quite romantic and has formed many close bonds over the centuries, some mortal, some immortal, some lasting, some fleeting, some that end in bloodshed and betrayal, some that he will treasure forever– but none that overshadow his abiding love of Melkor and his desire to free him from the Void. 

And he will never, never, ever let anyone shave off his body hair. Ever.

You know what would be a great distraction? Braiding Sauron’s hair. Fishtail, French braid doesn’t matter his hair would look great and with the amount I’d be more concentrated on what my hands were doing more then what my brain was over analyzing.

Now this you may certainly do! 

A soothing means of passing the time for both of us. ❤ I hope it brings you the peace of mind you seek. 

A small Umaiar patters through with two of Lord Thu’s combs in one hand and a werewolf-puppy sized hairball in the other…..did someone say hot wax? No? What about depilatory cream?

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WHAT is your FASCINATION with ROBBING ME of my RIGHTFUL, AULENDUR PRIDE???

WHY is EVERYONE on this VALAFORSAKEN EARTH OBSESSED WITH DENUDING MY CHEST???

Would you shave the line of Durin?? Would you wax a hobbit’s feet???? THIS IS UNNATURAL AND DESPICABLE. 

Take your collective fetish for hairlessness and throw it into a boiling fissure in the earth! FIE on you all! 

We were referring to the cousin of a more blonde persuasions. (Pffft)

Who, Loth? Well, why didn’t you say so! 
I was under the impression that she neither liked nor trusted me, but if the odds are more favorable, I see no reason why I couldn’t entertain the two of them. 

Two Fëanorians at once is a challenge I can’t afford to pass up! 

Admittedly, the mun nor the muses are much inclined to Sunday Type activities as a whole(not that I expect either of you to understand the hairless wonder doesn’t). However the idea of Sauron with two Feanorian’s that look much like their fathers has crossed the mind on occasion. Lord Sauron already had a thing for one of them anyway. But alas it is rather fleeting.

You mean, Dad-Jr. and Dad-Jr-Jr? 

….At the same time, or…? 

That’s “keeping it in the family” a bit much, don’t you think? Even for Noldor. 

I suppose I could have them separately; two courses, as it were. But the presence of either of them would be difficult to explain to the other. I’d hate to be the cause of another family row. 

A fantasy? Alas, I am afraid that for Sunday-type activities, Dark Lords are not quite my cup of tea. Ah, but were there a Dark *Lady* with such a firm build and such clever hands, one might be tempted to a shameful daydream or two. Such a pity…

If you are speaking to me (that is, to Thû), then I deeply regret that just as my Master has always been and will be a being between genders, I have always been male. However, with a flexible fána come many possibilities, and I am happy to indulge. Certainly, Aulë made as many female maiar as male, and they are as suited to the forge as I; it would change little to my build, my ability to lift you over my head, or twist a bar of iron into a circle with my bare hands while conveniently shirtless. 

milord Sauron has a handsome square jaw, which seems like a very sturdy place for me to sit.

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…And believe me, never a finer wrought nor more willing seat was ever crafted. 
I’m made of time and I have no need to breathe. Hop aboard. ❤ 

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