Tag: Anonymous

Rumour has it Sauron ain’t go no time for sculpted abs and slender boychild hips. All about dat chubby chasin’.

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Ah, then Rumor heard correctly!

I imagine I inherited this predilection from Aulë… (If you’ve ever seen a carven image of Yavanna, you’ll understand.)

Statuesque physiques are all very well, but a good sheath of soft padding all around speaks of a more passionate nature. The belly is the true seat of sensuality, you know; it need not be immense to indicate an appreciation for comfort and earthly pleasures. Just a round little spoonful will do!  Or a supple coat around a firm core. (Or indeed, an unrestrained globe quivering with potential ardor…) 

However, I’d be loathe to give up the joys of having slender companions entirely!  (Especially if they are somewhat foul-mouthed and ill-mannered, and covered in freckles…) Variety is the spice of life, and a hedonist’s carnal diet should be varied and flexible, to avoid monotony. 

A thin companion is sometimes a hungry one, ready to glut on pleasures and greedily lap the bowl of indulgence; only a coward or a prude would hesitate at the chance to satisfy such wanton need. 

Is there anyone you wished you could have tried to seduce but didn’t have the time/circumstances weren’t right?

*chuckle*

Well certainly! Who among us has conquered all the fanciful loves our dreams can conjure? I have found that oftentimes a dream un-realized makes reality all the sweeter; regrets bring into focus the many delights we do seize for ourselves, though it makes our restless hours more bitter. 

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Salgant or Maeglin?

A false dichotomy! Why choose one when I can have both?

It is no boast to stay I’ve stamina enough to indulge the pair of them twice over, and it takes at least two elves to sate my appetites.  

More than that, I benefit from their own coupling, allowing me time to recuperate while enjoying a delectable view besides! They make a very handsome couple, you know; my bed and I are very lucky. 

Ah… the details I could divulge! But alas, the hour of midnight approaches, and the time of chronicling my carnal affairs draws to a close.

Who would you say has the finest rear end in Arda? Círdan the Shipwright or Ossë, the Master of the Seas. You did compare a fine behind to the stern of the ship and no two are better fitted to that metaphor than them.

~Fishing~ for compliments, are we? 

I cannot comment on the old Teler’s arse, having never seen it except in retreat from the field, and Ossë has none to speak of, being mostly comprised of the rear half of a dolphin— both in place of legs and brain.  

Say… Galadriel? With all the ring of powery-ness

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That Finarfiniel bears one of the three does indeed interest me, but not as a carnal matter. There is a woman I think best served, in honor and in love, with both knees in the dust before her feet. Unfortunately for her, I do not think mine will bend so far… though I am sure the view is memorable. 

Overall build, too? Plump is obviously your preference, but you don’t hold other forms in disfavor, do you?

A tedious line of questioning!  I am old as earth; I have taken lovers of every persuasion. Flesh itself is a novelty to me, intriguing in all its variants! 

But I am a selective connoisseur, and have appetites which are beyond my governing. If you wish to know whether I find a particular form pleasing or not, you will have to unveil yourself and come out with it! 

Sauron, I am a very squishy lady, and sometimes I don’t feel good about being squishy. But I am glad that you appreciate squish.

Madam, there is no lovelier sight in all the world. Chin up! I’d give you a good bounce on my knee, were it solicited, and were we not at war. 

so Sauron… do they have to be round and squishy to be sexy to you? are big and bulky hot to you too? long and lean? pretty and petite?

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I won’t turn down a pert handful of posterior, though round is preferable. Sculpted and muscular is always a treat… But ah! Nothing compares to the delights of an ample and pendulous bottom! The plumper the better! A full stern for smooth sailing! A ripe peach to be savored! Great, luscious cushions on the throne of love! 

~ahem~. 

Pardon my lapse into poetics. It is a subject I am passionate about. 

for Sauron: “Fib” – Caranthir

His eyes were the deep brown-amber of a wolf’s, and he was sturdy-built and dark as many of Ulfang’s people were, yet they did not know him. 

“I am Loga, my lord Caranthir! I am kin to Uldor, by his third wife, Hwitbléd, who died in the West crossing. Ask him, he will tell you it is true.”  

And Uldor, at a glance, gave nod. “It is so. We were parted for many years, and I felt I did not know him. But in truth, we are kin. I am pleased he has rejoined us, for he has given me… good council.” The Easterling’s face set in a stoic mask as he spoke. 

The man Loga made a slight bow to the one he’d named as sire, then another to the elfin prince his folk were sworn to. “I did not think that a mighty lord of the West would notice one such as I, a low-born vassal who only wishes to serve him and fight against the Dark Foe! Surely, my lord, most shrewd and sagacious son of Fëanor, you need not waste your time questioning me?”  

Marco Polo is a fun show and overall I enjoyed it, but I wish they don’t twist the history too much just to make Marco as a white saviour. Him uncovering Ariq’s treachery, finding the secrets about Xiangyang wall and teaching the Mongolian to build trebuchet just simply wrong (it’s by muslims) & took the credits from the people who really did it. I’m grateful for the interest in Mongolia but as someone whose culture presented there and also familiar with the history I think they can do better.

I absolutely agree. 

I mean, not only is it inaccurate (I will take your word on that because I will be the first to admit that I am ignorant about not only the politics and history of the Silk Road but that whole geographic region) but from a writing standpoint the show is at its weakest when it tries to crowbar Marco into a position of “heroic lead”. Even the fact that the series is called “Marco Polo”, as opposed to Kublai Khan (who is ostensibly the focus of the series) is a weird decision. I feel like half of those instances were caused by some executive’s insistence that the series be “relatable” to white Western audiences by giving them Marco as a lead….. WHICH IS BULLSHIT, because the whole show is basically built to be relatable to Western audiences in the first place, and putting Marco at the center of attention is just plain unnecessary; and it is done at the expense of real history and real people. (To say nothing of the occasional montage of ~*exotic orgies of the forbidden Eastern women*~. JUST?? WHY. Those scenes are so uncomfortable and gross. I mean, they go back and try and humanize SOME of the characters afterwards BUT UGH UGH NO UGH WHY EVEN GO THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!) 

I don’t necessarily think the fact that it caters to Western audiences is a bad thing? I think it’s AWESOME that we have this showcase of amazing actors and costumes and music. The problem lies, I think, with the fact that it is going to be a lot of Westerners’ ONLY window into that period. A costume drama should never be a substitute for native voices and scholarship– it can be a really exciting introduction, and even a primer for history, but when its the only example you have in the genre, it can lead to very damaging consequences. 

That is why I hope that this show does well– receives the necessary criticism publicly, and encourages more and better examples to come forward and be successful. 

I think the show does a many things right and it is, as you say, great fun. And yes, absolutely, they could do better.  And I hope they do! 

–And hey, thank you for speaking out! You’re doing a brave and valuable service to the fandom and I’m happy to listen.  🙂

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