*Booming daddy Aulë voice echoing from Valinor* “MAIRON! STOP PLAYING WITH THE HUMANS AND ELVES RIGHT NOW AND GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM – NO DINNER FOR YOU TODAY, MISTER

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Sometimes I can still hear his voice

Try Tilion

“Tilion was a young hunter of the company of Orome, and he had a silver bow. He was a lover of silver, and when he would rest he forsook the woods of Orome and went unto Lorien and lay adream by the pools of Este in the flickering beams of Telperion; and he begged to be given the task of tending ever the last Flower of Silver.” –The Book of Lost Tales

Anon, you had me stumped for a good long time with this one! I had no idea what I thought about Tilion, and was forced to do some research. I have to thank you for making me dig around in HOME to formulate headcanons about him, because it led me down some VERY exciting…. rabbit holes…. >w>

–Tilion is described as being wayward and flighty– he chases the stars around, keeps tailgating Arien and her Sunship, sometimes he spends too long underground, and when he gets too frisky he causes an eclipse… 

I can see him scampering around, chasing shiny things, playing with stars and getting distracted, or frightened by shadows, generally having a poor sense of time, and unlike Arien– who sails through the Gates of Night and Morn and travels the Outer Dark, he dives down through the sea to the caverns and grottos beneath Arda. Burrowing, if you will. 

His epithet is “the horned” (probably referring to the horns of the moon, but I like taking the literal approach), and he’s also a sleepy boy who spent most of his time in Lorien. 

Let’s ask him some questions! 😀

–Tilion, why don’t you introduce yourself?: 

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–Nice to meet you, Tilion! Can you show us what you do as the moon steersman?

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“Certainly! It’s simple: I run, and the moon follows me. If anything comes too near us, I chase it off! I’m very fierce.

–Weren’t you supposed to be one of Oromë’s hunters? You don’t, er, look like the hunting sort…

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“Hunters must have something to chase, you know! I used to be the prize of Oromë’s Wild Hunt! I have a job now looking after the moon, so I don’t do that anymore. (I think a white hart is the prize these days?)

Don’t worry, they never REALLY caught me. The Wild Hunt all for sport. 

…Besides I am very fast and good at jumps and can fly.”   

The stories said you had a silver bow….?

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“My wings are bow shaped! It’s like a metaphor for how fast I am! But I don’t shoot anything. I don’t have thumbs and I’m a vegetarian.” 

Thank you Tilion! I’m sure people will have more questions for you, so maybe you can stick around!

…Aaaaand nope, he’s already gone. What a rascal…

Salo is an awesome product, I swear. Ukrainian salo however is the only one that is worthy of attention (too bad swines and pigs were killed off in last years…)” Salo in chocolate” candy is a weird cryptic thing, and is legit (i believe its more western Ukrainian, West, East Ukraines, Odessa, Kiev, Crimea are all very different things) Many find it a some queer (literature meaning, not slang) culinary perversion. The jest might have been started by other Ukrainians, only to spread uncontrollab

I will have to try it someday! XD It honestly sounds like something I’d enjoy with some potatoes or bread– even with chocolate I’d probably try it. 

Today has been educational for me, anon. Thank you! 

*There is a gift box in the Throne room. Inside the box there is… salo in chocolate? Oh, it is surely salo in chocolate… Who even thought that it is an appropriate way to prepare salo? Who even decided to ruin such perfectly good product? At least those questions were on the mind of whoever packaged the gift. The one who prepared it however was perfectly assured of superiority of chocolated salo.*

I don’t have enough Slav Cred to respond to this, in character or otherwise.

(Melkor takes a bite of it anyway and seems to enjoy himself, because of course he does) 

*Casually strolls into throne room like it’s some sort of public park, while carrying a bunch of ennourmous flat boxes* “Who ordered pizza? Brazilian sweet pizza? Pineapple pizza? Anchovy pizza?”

Melkor raises his fell hand three times.  

“What took so long? How hard is it to find the address on a Giant Volcano Fortress?? Sauron, tip the guy– An ingot? Two ingots? A slab of elf? What’s reasonable do you think?”

Sauron checks the clock. “They were five minutes late, my lord. Their offerings are now forfeit– allow them to escape with their life, and it will be a generous tip indeed.”

“Oh nice” quoth the scourge of Arda, “is the delivery guy forfeit too? Like legally is he considered an appetizer now?”

“I don’t see anything in their policy to say otherwise” replied the lieutenant.

The dark lord looks thrilled. “Well hot diggity dog” 

(first age rpg was a come back of the “sau would have made a wonderful/terrible boss” joke. sorry for confusion. sadly, i know of like one game that lots of home shit and thats HoME the roguelike)

YOU BUILD ME UP AND THEN YOU KNOCK ME DOWN

YOU MAKE ME DREAM, AND THEN CRUSH THOSE DREAMS

*sobbing*

…Can a maia shapeshift into a weapon? Can a maia be FORGED into weapon?

Interesting questions! 

My thought is ‘no’ to the first one and ‘yes’ to the second, and here’s why:

1) To the best of my knowledge, the only instance we have of one of the Ainur transforming into a non-living entity is Melkor, when he’s hiding from Tulkas in Valinor, “passing from place to place as a cloud in the hills”, as well as later when he’s fleeing from Valinor, where he’s described as becoming a cloud of Darkness. It’s unclear in these passages whether Tolkien means he became a literal cloud, or if this was a metaphorical way of saying he had disembodied from his physical shape and was running around unseen. We know the Ainur can run around unclad and invisible when they want to, and there are many passages which suggest they can appear to mortals as various mists, ghosts, vapors, wind, clouds, etc. (ex. when Saruman is killed at the end of LotR, and frequent descriptions of third-age Sauron appearing as a sort of nebulous dark cloud). 

All the other instances I can think of where one of the Ainur willingly transforms into another shape, it is into a living creature of some kind. (IF I’M MISSING SOMETHING, FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME, I’m really curious if there IS an instance of this!)  

The best Maiar shapeshifting examples we have in text come from Thû/Sauron when he’s doing his little Tam-Lin stint with Huan, where he conspicuously does NOT turn into a red-hot bar of iron, which I think would have aided him tremendously in that situation. This seems to point back to the idea that Maiar shape-shifting is facilitated by some sort of guise, such as the “wolf-hame” or the skins of other creatures, and furthermore something that is limited by circumstance and the relative power of the Maia (which I’ve talked about at length on this blog before because I’m a fucking Metaphysical Mechanics nerd); it’s not necessarily an easy or limitless ability they have to change shape. 

So, either because of restrictions on their abilities or maybe just from lack of creativity, I don’t think Ainur can change into non-living shapes, or at least, none of them have been recorded doing it. 

2) HOWEVER: can a Maia be forged into a weapon? In so much as a piece of a Maia’s spirit can be bonded with an inanimate object, yes! We KNOW they can do that much, because of the One Ring; heck, Eöl bonded a piece of his soul to Anglachel and Anguirel, so presumably even elves can do this.  

Whether or not someone else could do this TO a Maia is uncertain– in fact, I’m going to go ahead and say they can’t, due to Tolkien’s established laws of free will and the spirit. Even Melkor isn’t capable of entirely wresting a person’s mind or will from them unless they “give” him access to their mind in some way (which is why all of Morgoth & Co are so heavily invested in the material world; because the material world lets you have they physical power over people that you need to persuade them to give you the keys to their mind and spirit.) Same with Glaurung; he needs at least your name to have power over you. 

I doubt a Maia, or anything else with a spirit, could be bound to an object permanently unless they did it themselves, or allowed it to be done.

–Now, there’s an interesting and incredibly unsettling THIRD option that you could make a case for, which is that a spirit might be cursed to inhabit an object– if the souls of the Men of the White Mountains who broke their oath to Isildur can be cursed to stay in the world, bound to the Stone of Erech whereupon they swore their oath, then….. who knows? Maybe an oathbreaking Maia might forfeit their shape and power over their spirit and be forced to inhabit an object until the terms of their oath are met? That might make an interesting addition to a story. 😉 Let me know if it happens!

Hope that helps!

~Wes

Tbh I’ve managed to get pretty far into this First age rpg… And I admit I am weak as I always pick the Valinor route… While dialogues don’t pause the game and devs were assholes enough to implement “character reacts if you don’t answer for long”, Valinor maiar have a LONG countdown (which is explained by them not being in hurry and some timeless shit)… so I angle the camera to see the glorious maiaring butts that have way too detailed textures and way too many polygons to be an accident.

WAIT, WHAT??? 

WHAT FIRST AGE RPG IS THIS? WHa–  I NEED THIS INFORMATION ANON DON’T DO THIS TO ME BUTTS! SHOW US THE BUTTS

i live for Salgant, Caregiver Of Angband And Boss Of All Things Small And Monstrous. Thank you hugely for providing :)

Whoever sent this a million billion years ago, Thank You, You are Precious And Dear To Me, I Live For This Also, Thank You For Appreciating The Soft Elf Son

A box is left on Sauron’s anvil, with a note reading “we thought these might interest you.” But the box itself is… mysteriously empty, with one corner sort of poked out like something’s torn its way through…

Great Hells…” he swore, turning over the note quickly to see if it bore a signature, or any indication as to who had left it. Finding it as blank as the box was empty, he heaved a sigh and got down on all fours to better see under tables and the dark spaces beneath the forge.  Why did this keep happening?? 

Whatever it was, he hoped it wasn’t infant dragons again… or worse, geese.  

Dear Food(scratched out) Melkor. It pains me to hear of the scar tissue that mars your body more and more with each battle that you face. And thus, I have decided to forgo any spite that I might had kept for you and make an offering. If peace would be your goal, then I will offer it gladly. With love as deep as abyss, Ungoliant. P.S. My apologies for the dissapearance of a squad of balrogs. I couldn’t resist.

An incredibly feeble-looking orc arrives on the southernmost isle, wheezing and coughing sporadically as he produces a scroll case and begins to read:

My Dearest Madam,

Forgive me if I doubt your sincerity. I would have less trouble believing a brainless stomach with teeth was capable of sympathy than you. I suspect any pain you’re feeling right now might be due to the largely indigestible bitumen and combustable gasses that balrogs are composed of, and should not be mistaken for sentiment. 

You didn’t have to mention the scar tissue, but you did, because you are Very Rude– and in doing so you reveal the only genuine worry you possess: that my tender metaphysical flesh is becoming less appetizing with each passing century, and you wish to cut your losses now and devour me before I get any worse

The peace you offer me would be found in the bottomless reaches of your internal Void, which I have NO interest in experiencing. 

GOOD DAY TO YOU.

The Elder King, Rightful Heir of Arda, The Mighty Arising,

~Melkor 

P.S. This messenger has been coated in asbestos. Yes, write that down too, Langon, I want her to know– 

“– wait, I’ve been coated in WHAT?” 

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