askrossiel
replied to your post “masteroftheseas
replied to your post “WHAT IF I JUST SCREAM THE WORD…”
…of course now the question becomes “in which language would Mr. Flappy be screaming it, and is there enough similarity in that language between ‘taint’ as in ‘perineum’ and ‘taint’ as in ‘corruption’ for there to be humorous potential?”
The Dark Lord’s taint weighs heavy on us all
Me: Good!
Sauron: Mostly not you Huan good!
Melkor: 3/5. Could use more scales, wings, fangs.
#0 – Tevildo. Pettable only in theory; a quantum tummy, unknowable. No research available because all who try to rub the tummy have perished.
#1– I mean, it’s Sauron, right? Look at it. Fuzzy. Firm. Supportive. Lorge. Warm. A+ would use as mattress.
#2– Big Daddy Aulë
#3– Salgant, best with a touch of warm oil during a nice bath.
#4– Luthien (she probably ties with Salgant really, but I’m playing favorites)
#5– Drauglin. Not super soft? He’s pretty old and a little gnarly but makes up for it with sheer enthusiasm and wiggles.
#6– Turin. You think it’d be real nice, and it looks good, but is it worth the risk? Is it? Think of all you have to lose. Plus, he’s been living in the woods eating greasy meats over campfires for years, man.
#7– Maedhros. The most that can be said is that it’s long, like a kind of lean, ab-studded slip’n’slide; but he’s going to give you a Look, and make it awkward, and the risk of stabbing is preposterously high.
#8– Radagast. I wouldn’t. Stringy, concave, bony, probably wears a hairshirt or something scratchy and monastic; pass.
#9– Gollum; oh boy is it just so slippery. the slipperiest you can imagine.
#10– Gothmog; I know it’s tempting, in the same way that we all kinda want to stick our hands in fresh, oozing lava, but it’s a bad idea for all the same reasons
Honorable Good Tummy Mentions:
–All Khazad, everywhere, for similar reasons as #1, just … shorter. Probably Beorn too, but he’s less overtly cuddly.
–Manwë, surprisingly. You know how sometimes when you pet a birb real nice and it fluffs up all happy? That’s good isn’t it? I don’t know if he does this but just imagine.
–Smaug and Glaurung, but only if you’re Melkor
askrossiel
replied to your post “please, let grandpa sleep”
//and then you get to have the fun secondary explosions of post popularity long after you think things have calmed down a little. XP
I have never hated the internet more than I do right now in this moment
askrossiel
replied to your post “IM PUTTING OFF RESPONSIBILITIES SEND ME DRAWING REQUESTS”
I need more Magnificent-One in my life.
IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REMEMBER MY OWN OC S:DLKFj;sdlkjf GDI
askrossiel
replied to your post “have you shape shifted into animals? if so are there any favorites of…”
//the mental image of the Foe of the World masquerading as the squishiest marmalade tom just fills me with glee
Yeeeeessss, worship me you fools.
[Somewhere, there very likely is a Rossiel pausing to have a giggle at the thought of tiny anvils, and entirely uncertain what brought the image on. There’s a song in there somewhere, she thinks, one of those bawdy sorts the tavern-going folk are fond of these days. It could become very popular…]
“Ha, yes– I have it now:
O what do you forge with an anvil so small
So small that you scarcely can see it at all?
Must you work with the tiniest hammer and tongs
And strike to the rhythm of tiny forge-songs?
O what do you forge with an anvil so small
So small that you scarcely can see it at all…”[Lazily, in the air, you might, just might be able to see the wavering image of a huge smith pondering his tiny tools. And Rossiel is pleased, for she’d never before managed the trick of doing this with her songs. Maybe she’s getting better.]
Lindethiel paused and grinned, hearing the notes of the song dancing over the shrubbery that separated them. She could nearly see the ridiculous imagery of the lyrics, and she slipped between branches to see who it was crafting such skillfully silly rhymes.
“That was charming. Great innuendo in it, too; an instant classic.”
“A song about me? It’s beautiful, I love it, thank you. I’m so happy the world is full of song and merriment and joy and GREAT FRIENDS LIKE YOU.”
askrossiel
replied to your post “I so dearly want to do a full re-write of the Fall of Gondolin from…”
Well, of course… who wants to get close enough to a Balrog to measure its booty?
FAIR POINT
Black, strong, boiling hot, full of sugar, and with a squirt of cream.
One darling tongue-tied minstrel, wondering what all the fuss is about.
You tell those dudes.
FIRST OF ALL, HOW DARE YOU
SECOND OF ALL: I’LL TAKE YOU DOWN WITH A SINGLE SHOT
As I do not know this elda personally, I can only liken her to that which I liken all elven minstrels: “kudurānnu”; a little bird that brays ceaselessly like a donkey.
During my sentence of servitude in Aman, I was once accused of stealing several valuable works of Vanyarin goldsmithing from a banquet table, when in fact I had simply mistaken the table ornaments for part of the meal.
“Oh little minstrel, let this clasp smooth your words and let them flow like honey. Let it make your tongue light and your fingers lighter. Unbind your voice and let it free– keep no secrets from it, and it will give your music wings.”
MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive 