Tag: curufin

atariince:

I’m not convinced by the idea of arranged marriages in the elven societies. I know it’s a popular trope and my opinion might displease a few persons, but even when I put aside my personal issues and horror at the idea of arranged marriages in any kind of setting, I can’t see how it could work among the Eldar.

Arranged marriages in human societies aren’t exactly idyllic to say the least, but I reckon that it sometimes ended up quite well, that there could sometimes be respect from both sides, including regarding the sexual aspect.

But elven marriages happen through sex, which means that there would be no marriage is the two persons involved don’t have sex with each other.

An arranged marriage among the Eldar would mean; parents actually making their kid have sex with someone for a specific purpose. I suppose you can understand why I’m basically horrified by this idea, especially when you know how the LaCE treat marriage, love, family and sexuality.

Two elves sharing strong platonic bonds and deciding by themselves to get married for various good reasons, that’s a thing
(e.g. my Curufin is aromantic but decided to get married and proposed someone he respected, liked and admired.) An arranged marriage, where they don’t really have the choice and/or decide to get married only for the sake of politics, parental authority, etc is another thing.

I can already hear the arguments about Curufin and Celegorm’s idea concerning Luthien, and people replying that “They planned an arranged marriage between Celegorm and Luthien.” But that is not how I’ve understood the text.

My interpretation is different, and yet it is simple. The plan was that Celegorm would seduce Luthien, to make her fall in love with him, or at least, like him enough to accept the wedding. And Curufin’s talent for persuasion would help her understand what (they think) is the best for her.

Celegorm after all, is a powerful, handsome lord, he’s smart, charismatic, and he’s of royal blood. There must be many elves courting him. In their pride, the Fëanorians are convinced Luthien will fall for Celegorm, in his pride, Celegorm is convinced he will make her forget Beren. How could she refuse such a handsome, strong suitor?

I always reckon the narrative bias in the text we have in the Silm, but it is said that Celegorm and Curufin planned to ‘force Thingol to give her hand to Celegorm’. Not to force Luthien, but to force Thingol; the nuance is important; We know the elves would rarely get married without the approval of their parents. And Curufin already lectured Eol about it (“For those who still the daughters of the Noldor and wed them without gift or leave do not gain the kinship with their kin”), Luthien isn’t a Noldo, but the patriarcal authority is still a thing among the elves, all of them, so Curvo knows the father’s approval is a law and he would not go against this law. Especially when he and Celegorm actually want to gain the kinship of Thingol! Stealing his daughter without his or her approval wouldn’t get them any kind of kinship,  and their plan would be reduced to ashes!

And for Curufin and Celegorm, Luthien could not refuse a marriage with *~Celegorm the Fair~*, they’re convinced she will accept, so the only thing they have to do is to convince her father. They’re wrong, of course, blinded by their pride. But there never was any plan to force her. The plan was to seduce her, and then to make her understand that a marriage between their two houses would be good for everyone. But their plan wasn’t good, Luthien didn’t want Celegorm and Thingol, who already hated them, panicked and took their words as a threat,

So yeah… all of this to say that arranged marriages among the Eldar? Basically I don’t see how it could happen, unless the two persons involved actually want it to happen and already have a strong connection, platonic or not.