Fishpocalypse 2015 – MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive

Ah? What’s fishpacolypse? ‘3’

A long and spectacular series of events that occurred on this blog circa 2015, based on a vow @masteroftheseas made to @theshipwright not to interact with any Dark Lords for an extended period of time, in an effort to cut down on the fishy’s bad influences.

Thû took this as a challenge and spent the whole month plying Ossë with gifts and pearls and epic poetry and paeans to the sea and sad instrumental ballads and a Certain Silver Hair Clasp. Eventually in a final attempt to make confronting him unavoidable, Sauron and @ji-indur took a boat into the middle of nowhere and he plopped himself into the ocean with a new-and-improved-buoyant version of his orca!form, throwing himself on the mercy of the Oarni and went on a magical, non-talking tour of the ocean under armed escort, and everything was going splendidly except that he gave Ossë an unwarranted peck or two on the forehead and gills, and was promptly ejected from the sea via waterspout and into a cliff.
He then tattled about the entire wooing process to Cirdan in a letter, citing the aforementioned hair clasp (which he’d signed) as proof of Ossë’s betrayal of the intent, if not the word, of his promise to not interact with any Dark Lords.

Then he built a Giant Bronze Monument To The Time He Snogged Ossë in the port of Umbar, because he could.

Most all of the saga can be found in the tag Gone Fishing and in the Fishpocalypse2015/16 tags.

masteroftheseas:

Ossë seethes silently, forcing himself not to respond.

#fishpocalypse2015 #what seduction failed #so we’re back to trying to anger him into talking?#cheap.#you must be desperate.#look at that it’s almost the 23rd.#hm.#and I mean technically we’re safe at the end of the 24th I imagine?#wow time flies.

Interesting. It’s almost as if you think I haven’t already won.

masteroftheseas:

misbehavingmaiar:

Our Dark Lord sits on the pier with a fishing line, casting out into the shallows, saying nothing at all as the sun sets.

Ossë lounges quite a long ways away on a beach, watching the way the light reflects like a road of fire on the water.

He sighs.

“What an Age it’s been… So much quieter than the first, and yet more imaginative. So many fresh minds working to achieve new things… each success followed by a string of dashed hopes. I should have enjoyed the time spent on innovation free from war. But I had a heart set on revenge and a soul full of loneliness… I squandered my opportunity in Eregion.”

The line twitched. He reeled in and found whatever had bitten had escaped the hook, for the line was empty. He strung new bait, and cast again.

“You are the only one of my brethren who speaks to me now– though, of course, you are not speaking to me.” He grinned. “The only friend I count who has lived as long as I have, and is yet upon Middle Earth to tell the tale, is an enemy. Is that not absurd?” The look of his eyes darkened as the sky darkened, his profile, long and elegant, bent in melancholy.

“Would you believe me if I said I felt regret? That I tendered thoughts of surrender? Out of pure, pure weariness…” his breath caught. “Perhaps it is luck that makes you my fellow. You are the only one I know who has changed masters more than I, the only one I know who has left the service of… Who has sought pardon and received it.”

Nothing stirred on the water save the wind. “What is penance like, Ossë? How long does one wait, before our brothers and sisters look us in the eye again? How long before the sting of humiliation leaves, and love returns?”

The dark lord swallowed. “You are blessed to have one who trusts you so, and lives with your best interests at heart. I have been that, to another. But no longer.”

@masteroftheseas