Tag: headcanon throwback

misbehavingmaiar:

“Aaps Fitg-Mazauk-ishi , Blûg Bûf-ishi”

“Victory is Meat, Vegetables in Defeat” –Orcish proverb

Orcs recognize three basic food groups: Meat, Not-Meat*, and Grog. 

*Not-Meat is generally referred to, disdainfully, as “Vegetables”, even things that are categorically not plants, such as bread, cheese, boot leather, etc.

Meat is what you get when you win battles, for obvious reasons: there’s plenty of it laying around free for the taking. Meat is given as part of a soldier’s wages, and as reward for exceptional service; the wage-meat for successful orcs and captains is of higher quality than for grunts. Orcs do have discerning tastes when it comes to meat, preferring freshly butchered cuts from livestock animals and large game rather than from small game animals and “found meat” looted from slain enemies. While CAN eat just about anything, from whole bones to old corpses, they are liable to grumble and complain about it. 

“Vegetables” are considered a starvation food– the thing you eat when you have literally no other option available, or to pad out the supply of rations on a long march. This isn’t mere pickiness on the part of the Orcs– they are mesocarnivores by nature, and while they do eat other foods, their digestive systems really don’t handle it well. They get substantively less nutrients out of vegetables and dairy than they would from meat alone. They get most of the vitamins and minerals they need by eating every part of their prey including stomach, organs, and intestines. By scavenging and consuming whole corpses and carrion, Orcs serve a fairly crucial ecological function, much like vultures. 

–Mushrooms and other fungi are the only non-meat item that are considered actively worthwhile to obtain. Various types of fungus and molds are farmed in many Orc societies as a crop; it is the only known example of Orcish agriculture to date. Pickled and fermented foods are common fare for Orcs, especially as a form of food preservation. 

“Grog” is not mainly a recreational beverage but a functional one. It is a fermented beverage made up of active cultures, yeast and bacteria, that Orcs have cultivated for most of their history. It can be made from a variety of base substances including mushrooms, fish, meat, and root pulp, and the final result is not necessarily alcoholic, though some varieties certainly are. The cultures present in Grog help Orcs with digestion, particularly of non-meat substances. It is typically rich in protein, minerals and B vitamins.*

*While not universally toxic, humans and hobbits attempting to consume Grog should take into consideration Orcs’ naturally immunity to botulism and higher tolerance for bacteria. Try to get it while it’s fresh, and hold your nose.