Of course I would welcome the chance for parley between our two equally legitimate sovereign kingdoms, as one monarch to another. I’m sure we would both benefit from improved relations between the east and west lands of Men.
Indeed, why do we not meet in person? My summer palace at Umbar is lovely this time of year.
~Ar-Anaškad, King of Kings, Lord of Mordor and Greater Harad”
Why don’t we leave the subject of legitimacy for another time. And I would request we meet on the closest thing to neutral ground that can be found.
I simply wish to try and understand you better, though I may live to regret it; one can only try.
“Neutrality is a rare quality these days! His majesty could just as well have suggested we meet upon the top of a cloud. But perhaps somewhere long uninhabited would suffice for our purposes.
Far north of the Blue Mountains, well nigh the icy bay of Forochel, there is a lonely little island that sits frozen and forgotten by time: ‘Himling’* they call it. You may recognize something of its original inhabitants, if anything survives of them. I mislike traveling over water, but for you I will make this small exception; ice is a friendlier element to me and mine than the open sea, after all.
~Ar-Anaškad, etc.etc.
(*A truly charming bit of linguistic assimilation, if I may say so; almost as charming as the colloquial use of “Brandywine” for the Branduin River. One can map a great deal of history through the shifts in language. I coined a pidgin tongue for the Orcs in my service, and their vernacular changes almost by the week– it fascinates me as much as it frustrates. There– already you know me better than you did.)”
Of course I would welcome the chance for parley between our two equally legitimate sovereign kingdoms, as one monarch to another. I’m sure we would both benefit from improved relations between the east and west lands of Men.
Indeed, why do we not meet in person? My summer palace at Umbar is lovely this time of year.
~Ar-Anaškad, King of Kings, Lord of Mordor and Greater Harad”
“I’m not blind. And one does notice the indulgences of others when his own bed is cold.”
Hm yes, my condolences as to the loveless state of your marriage…
If it were not for the tenuous legitimacy of his majesty’s claim to the throne, one might be so bold as to suggest a divorce, on the grounds of wanting an heir– Alas, the laws of succession were firmly in favor of your wife.
Have you considered exile? Exile is a wonderfully expedient option for inconvenient spouses, so I’m told. Think how calm the waters of the capital would become if her ladyship were to be sent abroad…. and I mean far abroad, where she could not become more of a rallying point for the Faithful than she already is.
Ooh! And what if you could pin Amandil with an adjacent crime (say, one of infidelity and treason) and dispose of him similarly? Two irritating, Valar-praising birds felled with one stone–
*clears throat*
…Forgive me, I let myself be carried away by speculations unfit for my station.
There are more immediate remedies for a cold bed, if his majesty wishes to consult me privately… for medical and astrological advice, of course.
Ah, perhaps in body, yes, but in spirit, very few! My heart, as you know, is entirely devoted to the ~lofty, spiritual~ pursuit of the Giver of Freedom.
I’m shocked his majesty deigns to lower his attention to the base matter of his servant’s indulgences. Surely my habits are not SO in excess of average that they merit the notice of a king? Either it has been a very slow season at court, or I’ve broken a personal record…
MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive 