lotr – MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive

LotR but instead of Anglo Saxon/Scandinavians, the Rohirrm are Scythians

Listen, Scythians were a fierce nomadic horse-lords living in the steppe/grasslands, they had male and female warriors, Royal And Very Important Horses™, they had burial mounds, standing stones, elaborate gold ornamentation and knotwork, they were an empire with a language group distinct from the other bordering empires, empires for whom they sometimes worked as allies or mercenaries; the peoples around Caucasus are really diverse and sometimes have light hair/eyes…

Rohirrim. Scythians. Think about it.

The Watchers at Cirith Ungol– RivkaZ 2017

“…Within the shadow of the gate he saw the Two Watchers. They were like great figures seated upon thrones. Each had three joined bodies, and three heads facing outward, and inward, and across the gateway. The heads had vulture-faces, and on their great knees were laid claw-like hands. They seemed to be carved out of huge blocks of stone, immovable, and yet they were aware: some dreadful spirit of evil vigilance abode in them. They knew and enemy.” –The Return of the King, J.R.R. Tolkien

I took a few artistic liberties with the statues (largely because I didn’t have the description in front of me…whoops) and cheated a bit at the end, but at least I got the idea on paper! I was excited when I came across this passage in my re-read because I’d already done one drawing with Sauron featuring a chimera/griffin motif using Mesopotamian and Mediterranean influences, and the description conjured an immediate visual of some of my favorite mythological beastie statues. 🙂 They were very fun to paint, and I spent far too long on them.

Sauron’s Masks: Tol-in-Gaurhoth – War of the Last Alliance– RivkaZ 2017

“There now he brooded in the dark, until he had wrought for himself a new shape; and it was terrible, for his fair semblance had departed forever when he was cast into the abyss"

I wanted to showcase my idea for different battle masks worn by Sauron; one for striking fear in the elves of Sirion, and one to disguise his misshapen visage after the Akallabeth. I thought it would be poetic to see his fair form to wear a fearsome mask while his monstrous form wears a beautiful one; maybe for the sake of vanity, or simply to be recognizable after his imperfect re-embodiment. It seems like something the leaders of the Last Alliance who knew him from before would comment on, while facing him down on the slopes of Orodruin.

Grindr (G-R-N-DR): the gay Khazad finder app, not to be confused with Grinder (G-R-D-N-R), an app that tells you the Mohs hardness level of various minerals.

OkayOromë: an online dating platform that features compatibility tests for Avari in love. Prospective partners’ profiles are compared and their percentages of Friend, Enemy, Kinslayer, and Relative, are revealed. Comes with a mobile app, solely for iOS.

Adult Kinfinder: a similar site for Quenya speakers, with advanced features that allow you to determine the culture, age, death-status, and global placement of your dateable cousins. Mobile app available on multiple platforms.

Moot Roulette: a chat service that connects you randomly with other online Ents. It’s mostly all men though.

Pint.rest: Aggregate blog for hobbits. Allows members to share and reblog favorite pub pictures, locations, menus, open/close times, etc. Largely consists of snapshots of food, gossip, and trending hashtags. (“@lobelia where are my spoons???” #SackvilleScum)

Grondr: Grindr for gay orcs.