
“You realize of course that I’ll be telling ~everyone~ about this momentous occasion?”

“You realize of course that I’ll be telling ~everyone~ about this momentous occasion?”
masteroftheseas
replied to your post “// tumblr has some sort of law of conservation whereby for every five…”
ur onto me. wesley i confess. sometimes, when a website makes me prove i’m not a robot, i fail.
yesterday, when i tried to log on to tumblr, i inputed the same information six times, and it made me prove i wasn’t a robot six times. on the seventh try, it let me in. my humanity is flickering on and off like a lightbulb. it won’t be long now.
DISCOURSE IS OUT
DARK LORDS ARE OUT
SEA BIRDS ARE IN

LET’S PARTY
If I am being generous and true to your name, I’d say the word you evoke is “ūmiŝ’ukkudu”, like a violent storm that does not turn back, and the day that shines like fire; a man whose aggression inspires fear.
If I were less generous, I’d call you “ú-ziqnanu sagkuudû”, a beardless fish with its head cut off.
masteroftheseas
replied to your post “(ಠ_ಠ)”
“Is there not a single story of you actually failing at seduction??”
Not that you’ll hear from me.

In my initial attempts to create an aquatic fana, I failed spectacularly in my calculations for neutral buoyancy and weight distribution, resulting in a body that permanently oriented itself upside-down despite all my efforts, and sunk immediately to the floor.
@masteroftheseas @doegred-main

“What in hell’s name— !?”
The maia’s footwear gives a shiver, flopping open with an undignified sound beyond description, and he trips over himself trying to avoid the playful entourage that is suddenly attached to his shoes (such fine shoes they’d been only hours before!). He lands squarely on his tailbone with a loud curse.
The kittens are everywhere. They’d be precious if their little paws weren’t pointed with needles and now covered in wet swan droppings, which they heedlessly track across everything they touch.
He sighs and massages his temples, looking darkly at the weary bird that had made two round trips to Umbar with a full bladder. It’s black eyes look up sorrowfully, its head drooping. His scowl softens.
“Well, little one, you’ve certainly made a long trip just to settle scores between… whomever is on the other end of this farce, and myself” He unfastens his laces, gently pushing aside the mewing wall of kittens long enough to surrender his shoes. Barefoot, he rights himself, tucking the poor drooping bird under one arm and carrying it to a public fountain.
“I’ve always found the best way to deal with you and your troublesome powers is to simply keep you close and out of enemy hands. Stay as long in Umbar as you like; make friends with the peacocks and herons, help yourself to some breadcrumbs or whatever it is you eat.”
He tickles the swan’s orange bill. “Good bird. Would you like to live with me in the palace? We have very pretty ponds.”

I know you fear my gifts, Cousin, but believe me– the silly tricks I made to ensnare mortals are nothing compared to the powers of storm and tide. Surely you do not think yourself on the same level as greedy, power-besotted kings and petty warlords? Men are weak. Tyrants who fear death the weakest of all. Nothing could humble you, O Terror. No pitiful trinket can tame the sea.
Take it. It is yours. There is nothing to fear.
He takes the little box carefully, as if it might bite. “Cousin…? To what do I owe this welcome, if exceedingly unexpected, gesture of goodwill?”
He was in a cave.
The first thing he noticed on awakening from his meditation was the steady drip of water echoing within hollowed rock. There was a smell of sulfur lingering in the air, and even the water seemed tainted by it. No music sang through the dark waters except his own.
—- Which he had always imagined would be a sweet song but the reality of Ulluboz’s silence brought only alarm. What had happened during his reprieve? How had he been so blinded? In the gap left by his lord’s quiet he heard a different strain moving through the rocks, stirring in his spirit…
Melkor.
He dove into the still waters and they churned in his wake as he made haste to open Seas. They were more devoid of life than usual. They were devoid of Uinen’s gentle touch. He could barely feel her presence, and their bond seemed– severed? And where was Nowë?
Surfacing to inspect the coastlines, he was greeted not with sunny beaches but with crumbling rock and circling dragons. He had left the home he knew and found himself in a quiet world of shadow.
in this m!a verse (titled <what might have been> for sorting purposes) ossë no longer exists in main!verse, and instead is experiencing what his life could have been had he never left melkor’s side. it is based upon this post. anyone interacting with osse within this m!a would be expecting him to act as badsse does.
He considers, a finger resting on his lips. “You know, in all my ages of life, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of seeing octopi mating. It sounds delightful, if what you say is true! But beasts aside…” his hands disappear behind his back, clasping as he leans forward to grin in his cousin’s face, “…I’m very interested in this daydream of yours. You make such a fuss about my proclivities, but obviously you have a few sadistic wishbones in that aquatic skeleton,” he laughs.
“This must be uncharted territory for you– is it not? You have a loving Maia wife with whom you must be sweet and caring, and a loyal Quendi husband with whom you must be exceedingly careful…. Who do you have, Ossë, that can explore the murky depths of desire with you?”
Eyes glint like jewels in the dark. “What is it about this dream that excites you? What part of seeing me helpless makes you short of breath, your teeth clench? Is it imagining the feel of flesh at your mercy; the compress of my windpipe as it gives out and crushes beneath you? The writhing muscles of your victim, struggling to breathe? Would it be, perhaps, my expression in the moment? How do you picture it: Desperate? Pained? Pleading? Filled with awe and terror? Is that what stirs the blue blood in your sea-dwelling veins? Believe me, Cousin…” he bares his throat as if on display, tracing the v-line of muscles down to their nexus at his sternum, “I understand that desire more than most.”Ossë is very good at masking his facial expressions – he has been practicing for Ages, after all. So his arrogant, wicked smirk does not falter. Even when Sauron leans forward with a decidedly confident grin of his own, it does not falter. Even when he hits far too close to the truth to be an accident when discussing his marriages, it does not falter. But he does click low, steadily, a beat beneath Sauron’s words.
Oh, and those words. Sauron is crafty, weaving an image and a story out of what had been intended as a discouraging barb. (It had been intended as such, right?) Clearly his cousin did understand, for how else could he define and display it so beautifully? The feel of delicate flesh yielding beneath his might. The pitiful struggle of prey, destined to lose. The smell of fear and the look of understanding as they gaze upon their end. He growls softly, a rumble like distant thunder.
And to imagine Sauron in that position – no, even then his expression does not falter, but his eyes flash with inner light and markings flare to life over his skin before dimming away. Ossë’s gaze flickers to the proffered throat. He huffs and drops his smirk, snaps his head to look away and find distance.
“You do not understand me,” he hisses, voice dry and crackling. “I am content with what I have; I want for nothing.” (He is content. He is happy. His Pearl completes him and his Elf fulfills him. This passing darkness is nothing a good storm cannot settle.) His eyes shift back to that tempting throat, though, and they flash again like lightning that traces patterns down his form. It would be a simple thing to put Sauron in his place, to just reach out and squeeze all that smug pride from him, to drag him into the Sea and remind him why the Sea was feared.
He does not even realize that two tentacles have sprouted, coiling behind him in anticipation, or that his fins have flared out in display as he thrums steadily.
His cousin is so beautiful in his wrath; all that fine-boned arrogance and twisting kelp hair dripping pearls. It reminds him of the Dawn of Arda when all was wild and fierce and unbound by laws designed to keep fragile lives safe. (It was that spirit Melkor coveted, he remembers, that freedom he sought to restore to Ainur).
Dark water laps at the cave floor, hungrily pawing up the rock as Ossë writhes in power, as if the sea is seeking him. Brooding watersnakes flee their stony hideouts and drop into the lightless pool, seeking the safety of the open ocean waiting just beyond the cavern– he might be wise to find his own refuge, but he has risked more for less gain, and far less entertaining ends.
Instead he drops his collar further, disrobing of his apron and vest, rolling his head back and letting the tips of his fingers trace the contours of his throat.
“You want for nothing, Terror? Where is the ancient stormchild, the wrath of the tide that made the old earth tremble?” He steps into the water, wrapping black and frigid around his knees. He bites his lip hard with the points of his fangs, and lets his blood join the salt of the sea. “Have you ever tasted the flesh and fëa of your own kind, Ossossai? Ever drunk power from another’s blood? There is nothing like it, no food or drink of this earth that compares.”
The water washes past his hips, up his belly, The whiplash tendrils of his cousin’s eerily luminescent form churn perilously close; indignant, wrathful, betraying their master’s vows of contentment as lies. …Lies he aches to rip from Ossës lips, even if it leaves him drowning.
“You want for nothing? Then there is no reason for you to catch me.” He plunges, a streak of shining white and black cetacean skin, teeth and fin, racing for the midnight sea.
He considers, a finger resting on his lips. “You know, in all my ages of life, I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of seeing octopi mating. It sounds delightful, if what you say is true! But beasts aside…” his hands disappear behind his back, clasping as he leans forward to grin in his cousin’s face, “…I’m very interested in this daydream of yours. You make such a fuss about my proclivities, but obviously you have a few sadistic wishbones in that aquatic skeleton,” he laughs.
“This must be uncharted territory for you– is it not? You have a loving Maia wife with whom you must be sweet and caring, and a loyal Quendi husband with whom you must be exceedingly careful…. Who do you have, Ossë, that can explore the murky depths of desire with you?”
Eyes glint like jewels in the dark. “What is it about this dream that excites you? What part of seeing me helpless makes you short of breath, your teeth clench? Is it imagining the feel of flesh at your mercy; the compress of my windpipe as it gives out and crushes beneath you? The writhing muscles of your victim, struggling to breathe? Would it be, perhaps, my expression in the moment? How do you picture it: Desperate? Pained? Pleading? Filled with awe and terror? Is that what stirs the blue blood in your sea-dwelling veins? Believe me, Cousin…” he bares his throat as if on display, tracing the v-line of muscles down to their nexus at his sternum, “I understand that desire more than most.”
“Well. I see someone’s turned his hand to Art Criticism.”

“I’m quite hurt, if you want me to be honest.”
masteroftheseas
replied to your post “Should I make an AO3 account? Is that was the cool kids are doing…”
you’re asking the wrong person what cool kids do despite my effort to stalk the cool kids they keep evading me.
Where are these cool kids? Has anyone ever seen one up close? What are cool kids?
