Tag: masteroftheseas

“Melkor.” Ossë hesitates, clicking uncertainly. “I want to know the truth. Were you just using me to get your way? Was I nothing but a ‘servant’ in your eyes? Or did you really trust me as an equal? Had I remained would I have been nothing more than another Sauron, or could I have truly been my own king?” ((QUIETLY SHRIEKS IN EXCITEMENT AT SEEING YOU HERE WELCOME BACK I MISSED YOU.))

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Of course I was using you to get my way. My way would have been your way. You would have been given freedom once I overthrew the rule of the Valar, but that does not make you my equal. Freedom from Ainur law would not negate the discrepancy of power between us! I am second only to the creator of the universe, and as he has seen fit to abandon us, the only equal I count is my brother. 

But neither are you my servant. I have never thought of you as such, nor do I consider you “another Sauron”, whatever that may mean. He serves me because that is his wont– you obey no command except grudgingly. You are a force of nature I would have unleashed against my enemies. Beyond that why would I seek to control what is by nature wild and masterless? Do you not know me better by now? 

△ Have you ever (or thought about) kissing Mairon?

masteroftheseas:

Send me a △ and ask a really invasive question aimed at my character. I’ll rate how much I don’t want to answer on a scale of 1-10. Then answer. || ACCEPTING.

((This one is mildly hard given how very many Mairons there are, and how many I’ve written with. But for the sake of lulz, basing it off of @misbehavingmaiar ’s Sauron.))

Ossë curled his lip and looked away, fins flaring out with discomfort. “What is it with the Children and kissing? You are all so very obsessed,” he deflected, buying time to consider his response. “Physical contact is such a strange thing, and to mash faces? I do not understand why it is considered so exciting. Bad enough you Children do it all the time, worse that many of my brethren enjoy it, as well.”

But he could not put it off forever. “I… No, not Mairon. That form of his was nothing but foul to me, and the craft he performed while wearing it? Disgusting.”

“… But if you speak of the Ainu who bore that name among many others, yes.”

masteroftheseas replied to your post: Guess who just spent the entire mornin…

//you better not ditch tumblr I’ll cry endlessly and weep bitter tears ;0;

NO WORRIES MY FRIEND! I am not planning on leaving tumblr, I’m just taking some precautions in case tumblr leaves me, if you know what I mean. >_>;

I’m just reaaaaally not liking the turns this website has been taking. With each new update I’m afraid that they’ll suddenly change their policies on something or other, and suddenly I’ll lose posts, or they’ll become impossible to find, or they’ll decide I’m a porn blog and delete me, or WHO KNOWS.  mAYbE tHe NExT UpdAtE wiLL eMail ALL mY FiLthY HeADcanOnS DireCtlY tO CHRiS TOLKieN? 

Anyway, I spent all of yesterday archiving old posts, and I’ve got a bit more to do today.  Hopefully this will let me transfer some of the good times to a more permanent domain. At the very least, I’ll have copies for my own enjoyment. 🙂

Dear Terror,

Exceptionally pleased to hear that my gifts have been delivered safely, though I’m  pained to know that you are mocked by our brethren for your taste in jewelry. Your eclecticism can hardly be commented on by our kin who choose to collect and hoard exotic pets like the Noldor. 

The ring you speak of is not to be worn on hand or foot. It is for intimate occasions. I trust you’ll figure it out. 

Clandestinely Yours
(Until Such Time As You Choose To Return To Melkor’s Service),

~Forgemaster Sauron 

Who would you say has the finest rear end in Arda? Círdan the Shipwright or Ossë, the Master of the Seas. You did compare a fine behind to the stern of the ship and no two are better fitted to that metaphor than them.

~Fishing~ for compliments, are we? 

I cannot comment on the old Teler’s arse, having never seen it except in retreat from the field, and Ossë has none to speak of, being mostly comprised of the rear half of a dolphin— both in place of legs and brain.  

masteroftheseas replied to your post “so Sauron… do they have to be round and squishy to be sexy to you?…”

“WHY MUST YOU RUIN SAILING WITH YOUR SEXUAL INNUENDOS???”

THERE IS NO WAY -I- COULD RUIN SAILING WITH ONE SEXUAL METAPHOR!

SAILING WAS ALREADY CHOK FULL OF HARD MASTS, SEAMEN, BOOBIES, BOTTOMRY, CHEEKS, CUNTLINES, AND SEACOCKS.

➹➹

I GAVE YOU A CHANCE AT GREATNESS, MUDWORM! YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT WHEN IT WAS OFFERED!

…. Melkor may be wroth with you, cousin, but you’ve never done me any great offense. If you returned to our service you would be welcomed, regardless of my lord’s current temper. You know how I look forward to your moisturizing visits. 

-doesn’t kiss anyone, but does sniff curiously at the sprig of leaves and white berries-

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“Ossë! You’ve stood under the Parasitical Yule Weed! It’s a hallowed tradition that those standing under the Yule Weed together must embrace, lather each other with peppermint oil, and wrestle to see who is wins the opportunity to write his name across the loser’s buttocks!

Not doing so is a grave offense, and brings 7 years bad fortune! You’re lucky I was here to explain it to you.”  

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