Come on, we’ve all wondered! And herein may be compiled a list of pros and cons to keeping one’s iron crown, resplendent in stolen jewellery, on during the act of copulation.
PROS:
- Reinforces an air of majesty.
- Maintains ‘Dark Lord of the Earth / Moringotto’ aesthetic at all times.
- Amazing toplighting courtesy of Silmarils.
- Asserts dominance. Mairon doesn’t have a crown…
- Sort of helps to hold hair back from face while making out.
- Fëanor seething with rage in the Halls of Mandos becomes actually audible haha suck it loser.
CONS:
- Uncomfortable to lie on – spiky adornments are not overly conducive to relaxation.
- Might accidentally disembowel lieutenant while giving head.
- Balance becomes imperative. No salacious lunges unless that thing is glued on.
- Might accidentally burn self or lieutenant during proceedings.
- Potential for unsavoury bodily fluids on the Silmarils.
- Mairon is occasionally distracted by bright shiny things so may detract from focus.
lbrh we’ve all thought about this
MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive 