Tell me, how does a Dark Lord… entertain oneself when one’s preferred partner for– ah– Sunday-type activities is unavailable?

The same way you do, I imagine; with a stirring fiction in mind and two free hands, give or take the aid of some intimate devices… 

In fact, sometimes my preferred partner is myself. Learning to give pleasure to yourself is an art of its own, wholly different giving or receiving pleasure with a lover. Not only can you attain some of the most thrilling sensations a body can experience, but it offers insight into one’s own private needs and fantasies– itches that cannot always be scratched by another.
I fully believe that a healthy relationship with your own body will enhance your ability to communicate and enjoy any future liaisons with a partner as well.  

I recommend it heartily to all, even to those who are strangers to having bodies in the first place!

…Honestly, and there are those of our kind who question why one would choose to live primarily in corporeal form rather than drifting as an aimless, senseless ghost. Do they know what they’re missing?

“Well well… any favourite kinks, brother?”

Dear brother, in submitting such a question, you’re simply whipping the crowds of secret admirers into a screaming frenzy! Forgive me for sounding wary, but it’s hard not to go a bit red in the face, sitting there while somebody worships bits and pieces of you from afar. I can’t go down on this road much longer or I’ll be smothered by their impertinent questions! I can just hear them choking on their laughter, safe under the cloak of anonymity. Worse still, they will stuff my mouth with their lies no matter what I say! You only service their wicked agenda– I’m begging you, no more! Let us rip off the veil of secrecy; for once let it be them caught in their garters and silky undergarments without privacy! If they’re playing rough, so shall we. And while they’re licking their swollen wounds, maybe I’ll have some peace and quiet.  ….Nipple pinching

Melkor and Fëanor for the OTP meme! (By the way your fic about them was 100% perfect)

//S:LDKFS:DLKF;lskdJF *EXTREME FLUSTER* (⁄ ⁄•⁄ㅂ⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄  thenk u friend<3 I owe much to @curufinwefeanaro’s Fëanor! //

ship: ew / nonono / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / MY HEART / IT’S COMPLICATED

LIKE…. okay, so, can I say the word kismesetude in the Silm fandom without getting kicked out?  It’s a beautiful, flourishing hate-ship based on envy, desire, and intense mutual rivalry. They probably both see traits in each other that are relatable and attractive, but they each despise the things the other stands for. And while Melkor is ready to flatter Fëanor, he’d rather stab himself in the throat than concede to his authority or superiority– and vice-versa. Except Fëanor would stab himself before he flattered anyone, let alone a Vala. 

They both have similar goals, but incompatible values. They both desire things that can’t be had, the pursuit of which will poison their relationship with others, and ultimately undo them. They are both intense and tenacious in their pursuits, but Melkor is flexible and manipulative, and Fëanor is rigid and uncompromising. Both have egos the size of Canada, both want autonomy and recognition for their work, both have brother issues/father issues, both value their ideals more than the lives of bystanders… 

And they hate each other. My god, do they hate each other. Melkor gets to steal the Silmarils but if Feanor could rip Melkor’s heart out and wear it as a tiara, he probably would. The thought of deeply, personally humiliating the other keeps them up at night, sweating and humping the sheets. IT’S BAD, IT’S A VERY BAD THING, AND I LOVE IT. >w>;;; 

Who was more fun to seduce Lord Sauron, Ar-Pharazôn or Celebrimbor?

…Fun?

Why, Ar-Pharazôn, of course. 

That is the difference between upholding a facade for many years, sensitive to every detail lest it betray your intentions, and performing a version of yourself that your enemies expect, while letting them do the tedious work of engineering their fate. 

image

More was at stake in Eregion. I had to make myself quite vulnerable to infiltrate the elven kingdoms; my foothold was tenuous, my goals uncertain. Securing power in the west required the cooperation of at least one ruler, and depending on whose ear I gained, the method of influence would change to match. My plans had to remain flexible, my disguise absolute. 

…I was very lucky to have gained the trust of the greatest smith of the Second Age. Of all the rulers of elfindom, wooing the grandson of Fëanor was more than I had dared to hope. If everything had gone as I desired, I could have formed a powerful alliance; our kingdom could have been iron-fast, a seat of industry and ingenuity. I admired Tyelpë very much. It was less a ‘seduction’ than a slow-formed bond. Many times I regretted the deception that lay between us; like a pane of clear glass… easy to forget, until one stretches out a hand. 

“Annatar” was less a lie than an omission; he was comprised of truths, leaving out only what would compromise. What was built on those truths was genuine– but it was not enough. And I learned that too late. 

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…But the lesson I remembered. I will never again allow myself to become so close to my enemies that I feel sympathy on their behalf– not that this was very difficult. I despised Tar Calion. Only his grandfather was a more despicable despot, and he a less lustful conqueror. 

This may surprise you, but the East is dear to me.
Men, as a race, I do not love, but the people of Umbar, Harad, Khand, and Nurn are different from the Edain; they are less stuffed full of the presumption and arrogance of the Valar. They are rich with gods and heroes unheard of in the West; they have built temples to science and art, they reject no ideas for being too full of what fools call “Melkor’s influence”– as if my Master gave any thought to the taxonomy of nature, or mathematics, or industry. I find this refreshing. The country too is as rich and varied as its people. I have tried to be a good ruler; preserving the existing kingships and systems of governance and religion wherever I could. 

The Sea Kings ran rough-shod over every foreign land they came across. Though the Numenorian influence has long since been integrated into the local milieu, most continue to begrudge the hierarchies brought with it. Their ships and dignitaries are no welcome sight. 

Ar-Pharazôn came with armies and slave galleons. He routed my armies throughout Harad and where he did he left garrisons and exacted tribute, burnt heresies and forbade teachings. …I am no stranger to many of these practices. I have known ages of war, presided over a kingdom’s worth of prisoners. Yet this was a systematic purging of history and culture I have never seen before. I have come to loathe it. 

Calion was an arrogant, brutal little man. It became clear to me that the easiest way to manipulate him was to give him the semblance of victory wherever he sought it. My attacks became feints, my retreats led him farther and farther inland, until he came to my very gates. The sea of tents and banners that stretched into the desert was a glorious, chilling sight indeed… but if it had come to battle, that bloated army would have sunk under its own weight crossing the Mountains of Shadow. 
But I came to him like a tame horse, and stretched out my neck for him, and let him parade me through the streets of Armenelos; a vanquished god, an exotic beast. He would have me perform transformations for his amusements, sing songs for his court like a minstrel or a trained bird. I obliged his every whim, and the more he was reminded of the power he had conquered, the more besotted with he became. I was his private wishing-well, a genie at his command. Calion was a man of many violent passions; he considered himself a great lover of women and, occasionally, young men of certain castes (there was little distinction made in the laws of the land). I do not believe he was ever attracted to me, as I was… but the thought of a powerful warlord on his knees was a potent drug to him; enough to bring him panting and fumbling at his laces– at least, until old age withered such impulses at the root. 

I took a long-steeped and subtle pleasure in the reversal of power; sweet as Umbarim tea. Each submission was a victory, every humiliation I endured became a knot around his soul. He was a clever man, a cautious, paranoid, ambitious man… but precious easy to bind, if one had a little patience. Even while he thought me his toy, I had his ear. How tame he was, how easy to steer once the hooks were in. 

It was his wife that was the true obstacle to my designs. Lucky was I, that time and the chains of propriety had done their work long before I came to power. Her rebellions were toothless, lacking the support or structure necessary to supplant me. Still, she worried me more than Calion and his armies ever did. What an empress she would have been… 

But as I said, no enemy since has come close to my heart. Tormenting her with my victories was part of a daily game that brought me great amusement.

Sending that whole hateful island to hell almost made my loss worthwhile.

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*cackle* “Oh how the glitter suits you, brother! Though I must admit, it looks several times better on your Lord – do pass on my compliments to him. As for my question… hmm…. What did you like the most about Nùmenor? Do you occassionally miss Lord Aulë? Do you fear the void? What clothes do you usually like to wear?”

admirable-mairon:

misbehavingmaiar:

*rolls eyes* He hardly needs the encouragement… 

Tsch… you test your limits with me, brother; asking so very many impertinent questions! Don’t you have have more pressing matters to attend? Curling your hair, maybe? Or tongue exercises? 

No? A pity.  Very well: 

Item one: The Numenorian’s hospitality, and their impeccable standard of hygiene. The bath house in the capital was a favorite destination of mine; always ready to heat the waters particularly hot for my visits, and provide most exquisite attendants. Some of their number I admit to taking a special interest in… their company must be among my favorite things as well.  

The second: I do, but only as a chick who has left the nest: I have flown to better things. I could not return to that narrow life now, even if I wax nostalgic for its moments of joy, or its solidity of purpose. 

Aulë was as good to me as he knew how to be… as he could have been, as the father of my making, if not of my choice. 

Thirdly: Yes. As should you. As should we all.
One day perhaps, we will reach a level of industry that would allow us to explore such an expanse as the Outer Dark and probe its mysteries… but not the Void. It is that which is outside of Creation, a prison of unimaginable bleakness. What being trapped there would do to the mind… I shudder to think. 

And finally: *Gestures to forging apron, encompassing his whole ensemble of boots, gloves, and capelet.* These are the most practical for working in. I don’t believe I have a favorite mode of attire, but this is certainly my most frequent. 

…Anything else, dear brother? I don’t suppose you’d like to know the number of hairs on Drauglin’s ass, or which hand I favor for polishing my hammer? 

“Hah! You think I need to curl my hair? Brother deary – I look like this naturally. No curling or oils needed. I admit I do treat myself with some old nùmenorian oils, as I miss them just as much as you do. And oh their jewelry and their sense of fashion! I almost find myself missing it at times – Especially the smell of our temple”

“And yes – of course I fear the void. As you say, we all should. That’s just how it is.

…. And concerning your ‘hammer polishing’ I would love to hear all about it~ The thought of you ‘polishing your hammer’ is quite… stirring after all. Do tell me – which hand do you use? Both for your literal hammer and your cock, deary”

“Both hands– for both hammers.” 

*waits to see if the Truth Curse will contradict him*

……..

*it doesn’t*

*winks* 

admirable-mairon:

misbehavingmaiar:

admirable-mairon:

misbehavingmaiar:

I feel so personally attacked right now....

Et tu, little brother? 

Ossë is a fish, I can understand his confusion, but thou? 

Oh, my maker, left but not forgotten! How can you ask such things? Have you no more pride as a maia once of Aulë? 

Aulë is father of the dwarves, lord of smiths… even his elf devotees wear beards! And are we not fashioned as mammals? Are we not beloved of wolves?

Why are YOU proud to be as hairless as mewling babe? 

No need to be so dramatic, brother.

My ‘Aulëndil pride’, as it were’, comes from my love of crafting, smithing and the things he taught – not his looks. While the hair is… nostalgic, it is nothing I would wish to wear on my own fàna.

I have a fierce appriceation of beauty, which is why I pride myself in being as hairless and smooth as a gem or a well-sculpted marble statue.

Beauty in itself is a great tool. It gains the trust of the children faster, which makes it quite a lot easier to manipulate and decieve them.

I work with contrasts, dear brother. Our orcs are percieved as ugly and barbaric by the ‘good children of Ilùvatar’, our lands are dark and barren, Arien’s light never reaches us… And in a land filled with only wonderous, magnificent shadows, I am the only ‘Light’. They believe me to be their saviour – Someone kind enough to spare them, for surely someone this beautiful could never be evil.
It is like making them fear the things they love – the things they
trust. Making them fear the sky, the stars and their beloved, filthy
Moon.

The look on their faces when they realize that the thing they thought would save them is their true doom is the reason I am proud to be, as you put it, ‘as hairless as a mewling babe’. 

Don’t me dramatic he says! 

While tossing his locks and comparing himself to the sun in a darkened land!  

Oh little brother, you are delightful. 

Someday, the irony of shaping your life’s aesthetic around a storybook’s perception of good and evil will reach you. Maybe then you’ll grow some hair on your balls and they’ll stop mistaking you for a elfin child. 

Don’t you patronize me, you big lump!

….. *sigh*

Forgive my outburst, brother – I have admittedly been rather tense as of late. Some of my servants, or our servants supposedly, haven’t exactly been easy to handle lately.

As for the hair on my balls… I have found that the people I take to my bed quite enjoy the fact that they do not have to bring shears in order to be able to find my entrance.

I imagine your lovers would have to bring all kinds of tools, and furthermore make sure that they don’t get stuck in that shrubbery you call ‘chest’.

Is that so? I imagine it would be easy to find even on a dark night amidst thick overgrowth– what with you lighting the way so generously for everyone. 

…And I’ve had no complaints. Keeps them warm in winter, I say. Though if you’re comparing it to a shrubbery it sounds to me like you are in dire need of educating.

 Let me know if you ever want to put your hands on a real Aulendur

How’d the first time go down between you two?

I… ought to explain. 

Before the sun and moon, before trees, before the lamps, all the Valar and their attendants gathered to build Arda as they had seen it in the halls of the creator. 
The work was seamless; we knew not tiredness nor hunger, there was no change of light to mark the passage of time, no seasons to break the years of labor. We did not rest; not for eons. 

But every project has its complications, and at some point it became necessary to halt the production of earth’s materials in order to address certain… conflicts of interest. Not all the Valar agreed how best to implement the Theme, and Eru Iluvatar did not always answer their queries, or answer directly. So it was decided: once every seven thousand years there would be a sabbath. Work would cease, and the Ainur would discuss their progress, set new objectives, and refocus their mind and hearts on the glory of the Theme. We called it the Quietus. 

That was the only time a maia like myself could leave aside their tasks and mingle with whosoever we chose. And I suppose this is a matter of history now, but after a time, I chose to spend that time in the presence of Melkor. Many of us did. He was immeasurable, bright, glorious… His notice felt like a beam of sunlight that singles out one flower from a field. The mightiest of the Valar, looking down, picking you out of the many– for an instant you were greater than all others, brighter, warmer, more significant to the universe.

Once, I stood in the palm of his hand and he lifted me to his eyes and said: “I have never seen a maia stronger than you. I would know you even in the Sea of Maiar. You are harder and more beautiful than all the others. Would that you were mine.” 

I loved him so much. I would have done anything for him. 

Would you believe that when I finally did enter his service, leaving everything I had known and abandoning my father’s care for the sake of him, I did not dare speak to him unless he bid me to? I could hardly look directly at him. It felt like an indiscretion. The Valar all have Vala mates– they do not consort with Maiar, save for Melkor, and they loathed him for it. Even we Maiar spoke of the act with distaste, gossiped about it in horror and intrigue. It was blasphemy. We are less than they.  
He had to teach me, with many, long lessons, how to blaspheme. How to touch him without flinching. And oh, I longed to touch before I ever brushed so much as a finger against him… I am lucky that Melkor had the patience in those days to tease me out of my mold, else I might still be as chaste as a new-poured casting. But he has no reservations, my Master; he happily drifted weightless into my arms as soon as he was moved to, let me sink into him like an iron rod into molten glass. I do not even remember where it began. I had him across an anvil, against the pillars of Utumno, knelt before his golden throne, between his legs.  God, how he sang… he was vulgar and sweet and pliant, all the things I was not. All I wanted was to keep him breathless, praising me, his claws on my back, his thighs around my waist, soft and searing, opening for me. I want that still, I will want it forever. 

The world is ash without him. 

melkor’s favourite sex toy?

Oh, any sort of smooth, hard, round protuberance will do. I don’t have a favorite. Polished stone or wood with a gentle curve to rut against is nice… It does rather depend what size I am at the time of urgency, however. 

I would use my hands of course, but not since I had my little accident. 

which one of you is the sluttier one?

It’s not easy being both mother and father of atrocities. I have to get around.

…Though I dare say my lieutenant is not above using his wiles to secure alliances.  

This evening we deign to answer questions of a personal nature

I cannot think of a suitably flexible meme so I will simply open the inbox for those curious to know the answers to their burning, intimate questions. Do you want to know what we think of you? What we think of each other? Our favorite viewpoint atop a mattress? A scent that stirs us? How we take our coffee? 

Ask away. 

(( The tag for today’s inquiries shall be #ImpertinentQueries, and as always, my tag for NSFW / explicit content, should you wish to block it or if you are NOT 18 years of age is #Shameless Misbehaving ))

Nov 2015–Oct 2016 Dark Lord Centerfold – RivkaZ 

I repainted this bit of Dark Lord pinup as an exercise and… I really like the results?? I’ve been working really, really hard this year to improve my foundational art skills; I’m in the middle of a super frustrating learning curve where I can’t look at my old art without going “ew” and I can’t perfectly implement the new skills I’ve acquired yet. Everything feels very clunky right now, in between stages of development. I figured this would be a perfect time to try and rework an old painting and see how I could improve it. 

High res transparent PNG available on Patreon 

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