defniel:

misbehavingmaiar:

Update: Sauron is not afraid of hobbits. He was unaware that hobbits existed up until very recently.  he literally did not have time to be afraid of them, they went from a 0 to 100 threat level in twenty seconds. There he was, minding his own business worrying about the usual Elves and Men when suddenly these kids are on his lawn and now he’s dead, like just; 

What did— who– 

did I just get one-shotted by an infant how is this occurring 

Honestly I have to love this whole thought process that the Fellowship must have cultivated in Sauron, like…

“These children have found the Ring! But they’re taking it to the elves, of course. I will simply have to catch them on the way.”

“Well, the elves are still not to be trifled with, it seems. It looks as though they have a group of intrepid heroes, how cute! Wait, who’s leading them? Aw, hell.”

“OKAY! Olorin’s out of the way, and now I can finally kill them all and reclaim the- OH DAMMIT, IT’S IN LOTHLORIEN.”

“Well, okay. They’ve taken it onward. Curunir says one of the halflings is still carrying the ring, so he’s going to capture them and we’ll see how this develops. Thankfully Olorin’s still out of the picture and their little group just shattered into pieces, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”

“Aaaaaand Curunir shat the bed. Excellent. Trees, who would have thought? Okay, so we’re back to plan A: conquer Gondor, because if the Ring’s going to be anywhere, it’ll be there.”

“Wait, who’s on the– Isildur’s WHAT? Ohhhh. Ohohoho. Oh now everything makes sense. Isildur’s Heir is back, and he’s here being all prideful again. That’s fine. Really. I’ll just crush him and his kingdom, and then nobody can stop me!”

“WHAT? FUCKING WHAT? THEY SENT HIM BACK? Ugh, alright, alright, I’m cool, I’m fine. He’s still got that stupid wizard costume on, and I’m still stronger than he ever was. It’s not like he can come toe to toe with me, even if he does have an army behind him. This’ll be fine.”

“They’re… actually marching on the Black Gate? Sweet lord, I didn’t think they’d actually do it! This is perfect, everyone’s right here! Olorin, the human princeling, most of the remaining fighting forces of Men, all I have to do is kill them now and– Wait. Someone just put on the Ring. Someone just– That’s a halfling. They’re inside the mouNTAIN OH GOD NAZGUL GO GO G–”

…aaaaaand curtain.

THERE IS A SILM BUDDY AT THE SHAKESPEARE PLAY

fidelishaereticus:

misbehavingmaiar:

WE MAGICALLY SAT NEXT TO EACH OTHER

THEY HAD MILKER ON THEIR PHONE

THIS IS THE BEST DAY

ITS ME, IM THE NERD WITH MILKER ON MY PHONE, I….i can’t  believe someone finally recognized it??? XD

Milker brings us together. Milker is Community. *tears up* you guys….. maybe melkor’s true face…..was the friends we made along the way

image

The sweet caress of twilight
There’s magic everywhere
And with all this romantic atmosphere
Disaster’s in the air~

*:・゚✧ ~Can You Feel The Love Tonight~ *:・゚✧ 

Actually it is possible to beat Sauron, but you need to have this exclusive ultrarare special event summon Huan because of his special buff ‘can die only one way’.

I know right? it’s such BS

textsfromsauron:

sent to: Tar-Míriel

[10:12:14PM] between the two of us:
[10:12:27PM] you and i are the smartest, most attractive people in this city
[10:12:35PM] and if you’re as bored as me, i wouldn’t entertaining you
[10:12:39PM] if you know what I mean

received from: Tar-Míriel

[10:15:07PM] Between the two of us:
[10:15:11PM] I’d rather swallow glass. 

~ A panel of Falathrim watch the uproar then hold up signs scoring Osse. 9.2 – 9.5 – 9.6 – 10.0 (Cirdan) – 15.0 (Gil-Galad who is apparently using an entirely different scoring system and has graded it based on getting to see Sauron tossed like a skipping stone and then nearly skewered. Highlight of his life.) ~

masteroftheseas:

LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED YOU GIL-GALAD 

“Ji! Get me a boat.”

masteroftheseas:

ji-indur:

Not being able to speak was quite bothersome although in all fairness the wraith was not sure what he even would have said if he could have earned the ability of using words under water. If anything it was maybe for the best, as he was fighting the urge to cover his eyes as he was an unwilling witness to the sudden exchange of intimate gestures even though it was more coming from his master’s side than Osse’s who, everything considered, was quite surprised and not exactly a willing participant as far as Ji Indur could tell. With Sauron pushed back again and the attention returned to the helpless corsair in his grip, the wraith did not anticipate what was to happen next as he tried to make himself understood with sign language, simply to inform the Master of the Seas why he was not letting his tongue fly as usual. 

And then there were suddenly lips over his and his eyes widened as his brain had trouble to fully process what was happening until he felt his lungs fill with air and after he was released once more the captain of the Kraken was just happy that with life he had also lost the ability to blush, pressing hands to his mouth instead so he wouldn’t squander the gift with one carelessly made sound of surprise. Before he could speak however and explain himself and apologize for his intrusion he felt hot glares fall on him, making him squirm uncomfortably in Osse’s grip again. His master’s will, while not as strong as on dry land, was pressing against the back of his mind, pushing it around and there were silent promises of punishments to come for his inability to follow orders given. 

Feeling even smaller than before and strangely meek the wraith knew these were not his own feelings but those forced upon him by a rather furious Sauron who suddenly came closer, so much closer, pushing the hapless corsair out of Osse’s grip, causing the precious gift of oxygen to leave his lungs and mouth in a stream of bubbles and a surprised little noise. Ah so much for explaining himself, the blow powerful enough to make his entire body reverberate, every fiber aching as he was hurled through the water a few arm’s lengths away. If this had happened on dry land he was certain he would have landed near Angmar in a heap of broken bones. Deciding that this would be a good time to maybe bid his farewell after all since -it was all over now, was it not?- he doubted he’d be given another chance to speak, the only thing that stopped him was another kiss given by Sauron to the other Ainur but this time it was a true kiss, fierce and with a heat that almost made the water bubble. Or so Ji Indur would have sworn afterwards. 

….it was also the moment when he knew that whatever would happen next…he should not be anywhere nearby, the wraith starting to swim towards the nearby shore in a desperate determination to not end up the victim of /both/ Maiar’s wrath. No, one punishment would suffice, he had no intention to witness what a furious Osse looked like this close up. 

@misbehavingmaiar @masteroftheseas

Ossë started when Ji was ripped from his loose grasp and he found the hulking form of his cousin in its place. He glared and parted his lips to speak, but hands in his hair and a quicker tongue beat him to it.

In hindsight, he should have interrupted him. He should not have let Sauron speak. He should have batted him away, talked over him, tossed him to shore – anything. Something. But he hadn’t; instead he had stilled with his defiant glare and listened to his cousin’s arguments, his pitiful appeals, his demands, his pleas.

Instead he was captured by a kiss, furious and hungry and desperate, and he had been expecting that. He was surprised only that Sauron had waited so long to stake his claim, the tear of teeth into his lips a burn like forge-bright blades melting into cooling waters, the smell of sizzling flesh escaping with the bubbles of steam that surged from their mouths.

He would have jerked his face away. He would have used his teeth for more than passionate embraces. But at that same instant Sauron ever-so-delicately passed his smoldering fingertips over the intimately sensitive slit of his gills. A squeak escaped him as he froze, tail flickering sharply in a confused, erratic rhythm. It was an overwhelming onslaught of thoughts and feelings: danger, heat, pleasure, cousin, enemy – all blended into one and were lost beneath the warming, fin-curling sensation of sea-cooled flames seeping into every filament, every scale, and deeper still.

If Sauron’s fingers were dangerous, his lips were a promise of a decadent doom. He was so unbelievably gentle, feather light kisses and puffs of smoky breath that he sucked in as though he needed that air to survive. Those horrible fingers found his fin instead and he whined softly through the squeaks that peppered the sea like gasps. And was that the graze of a tongue between his gills?

Ossë’s head rolled back in offering, his eyes burning brighter than the stars as he floated limp against his cousin. The thrumming in Sauron’s chest buzzed through him as well, and he warbled weakly at the vibrations. His tail whipped forward to wind around Sauron’s as he lifted his hand to thread his fingers through the knotted hair nestled at the back of his skull. The warmth was everywhere, it felt like he was boiling, but it was perfection.

He stiffened for just an instant, his shoulder lifting in protest and his head tilting to bump at his cousin’s brow. His grip tightened, claws curling against Sauron’s scalp and scales scraping against the smooth flesh of his tail. It had to stop now – but it felt so decadently good. There it was again, another swipe of a strong, slick, long tongue, and he whined shrilly as he bared his throat once more.

But Sauron would proudly wear this victory. No matter how good it felt, if he allowed his cousin to continue this game (already it had gone too far to escape with all his dignity in tact) he would never outlive the shame of being so wickedly manipulated.

He jerked Sauron’s face from his neck and squeezed with his tail, holding his cousin steady as the waters swirled and surged around them. The confused wildlife darted anxiously around the Ainur as the plant life swayed and churned dangerously beneath. Ossë watched his cousin’s expression, his own set in a furious snarl of rage. A rumble of distant thunder growled on the horizon, and an icy surge of water roared above them as the sea responded to the emotions of its master.

He wanted to speak. To curse his bold actions, to defend his husband’s good name, to wipe that smug, self-satisfied glint from his eyes. But speaking would be the final defeat, the final insult. Biting him would be too easily confused as a passion of another sort, as would any physical contact at this point. Where the water was previously warmed and gentle, it now was wild and cold and dark.

His hand loosened its grip, and his tail unwound its hold. Ossë stared down his cousin and all the previous affection and pity and wary trust was gone, replaced with fury and determination and something else that swirled in an undertone of his eyes and in the soft, mourning song of a whale – until the water spout threw him up, out of the water, and crashing brutally into the rocks along the coast. A trident followed his flight to graze along his throat, a shallow cut along the side of his neck.

In the sea, a trumpet blasted. It was a warning that all mercies had been meted out, and the next intrusion would have fatalities. 

@misbehavingmaiar

………

“Still worth it.” 

@masteroftheseas @ji-indur

doegred-main:

misbehavingmaiar:

onehandedly:

Then again consider the Noldor developing shape-memory alloys in Beleriand with two way memory effects so to safely transport keys/signets.
(Two way memory effect means, very roughly, that the object in question, if heated to a certain temperature, can configure itself in a different shape while remembering some elements of the previous shape, all such effects are lost if the object is heated too much because then its configuration just changes its phase and the crystalline structure itself changes ).

Thus bringing us to Noldor knowing full well how to use electrolysis, Noldor having developed the technology to use galvanic and electrolytic cells.

A “magnetic trap” keeping the silmarilli safe and Ungoliant using her spider-form to “weave” field lines out of the way.

please keep your magnets far, far away from Sauron; he has enough trouble with fractals

Oh, but you like my magnets enough to get stuck in them!

Do not worry: it is a field I’m very knowledgeable in. 

Excuse u

doegred-main:

cough HEY! It may be lean, but I have never heard anyone complain about my butt yet! cough

cough Cousin…Guys track all the way to Angband and serenade the Thangorodrim walls to get to my lean beef jerky! cough

cough

It’s damn cold lately!
@misbehavingmaiar

*cough*Iwasn’tcomplaining*cough* 

*cough* I’ll happily inspect it more thoroughly to make sure *coughcough*

…your strange illness seems to be contagious 

I know that there is neither grief nor remorse in you, brother, for any of the deeds you committed and the horrors they have generated, directly or indirectly. However, I know you are not as heartless as you claim to be, not completely so. I know you long for something, I have always felt it, although I know not what that might be. So tell me, Melkor: after all of this, have you found it, have you found that thing you felt you lacked, which can make you feel whole?

image

I do not wish to answer this question, least of all to thee

You know that anything I say now must be in complete honesty, so you wish to set me up to your advantage. If I answer you, it will be only a fragment of truth, something only true of the moment, as though my story had ended, as though I were not still searching. It will only give you one more piece of evidence to advance your self-satisfied assumptions about me. You shall point and say “ah, you see I knew this to be true, and now you have proven it!”   
Well, I won’t let you. I know this game; you stage your questions in such a way that makes my answering seem as though I confirm all of your sneaky qualifications hidden in framework, and I won’t play along.

 I may be forced to speak the truth, brother, but I am not forced to speak

Tell me the truth: out of all races of Arda, which one dressed the best? Which one was the tackiest?

Melkor: OH that is simple! The Eldar are the very worst dressers! Especially the Noldor. Encrusted in gemstones with no coordination or contrast–! Disgusting! Hmmm, but the elves on the continent are a close second. BORING! And then there are the Vanyar– equally ostentatious and twice as stifled! …I suppose the best dressed would be my acolytes in the Temple of Freedom. It’s a shame I never had a chance to tell them so!

Sauron: ……………………………….Ainur.

Melkor: For which category, beloved?

Sauron: Both. 

Is there some part of you that is glad Morgoth is gone so that you can have the world for yourself? Even if you do miss him too?

image

The world to myself? HAH! The world is vast and multivariate and I have not even firm control of the mid-eastern third of this continent! The more power I gain, the more tenuous it becomes; the farther I reach, the thinner I find myself spread! 

My thoughts stretch to breaking point… I must maneuver each pawn directly, for fear of defection. I have no lieutenant I trust well enough to delegate command to.

It is all for an aim, I tell myself, it is all to regain what was lost, to mount a final attack against the insurmountable— but it is slipping! All of it, sliding like sand through my fingers the harder I grasp!
 I cannot let go for an instant. I cannot cease watching them for even a moment. I cannot rest, I dare not be merciful, I cannot afford to let a single unknown variable survive… What I was fighting for seems impossibly distant, and I must only hold on… 

They cannot be trusted. I must do it all. Every movement of every cog must be supervised or else it will stray and the entire machine will collapse…! 

I must always be watching. I do not remember what or who I miss. I must always be watching. 

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