True.
Next.
Month: January 2015
(melkor) that u ejaculate nightmares and/or shadows. when u are in the mood for ejaculating, i mean. and that that’s where nightmares come from?? pitch black spreads weird rumours…
What a fascinating rumor!
If it’s true, then most nightmares have already been swallowed…
Well I have heard that you [censored] and [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] and further more [censored] that you [censored] with an apple and a [censored] [censored] no less and then with your brother [censored] [censored] [censored] and that his tongue was [censored]. ~This message has been passed through the Bureau of Manwe. Some parts of the message may have been altered to keep information of a sensitive nature safe.~
*crumples message*
ALL TRUE
ESPECIALLY THE PART WHERE MANWË PUT HIS [censored] [censored] IN A [censored] AND [censored] IT!
…DAMN YOU AND YOUR BUREAUCRACY, BROTHER.
They say you, Lord Sauron, you have had in your bed two generation of Feanor’s descendants. How was it? Are they fiery as they are rumoured to be?
Ah, in this, rumor outstrips even my prodigious achievements!
My -bed- has seen only one Fëanorian.
As for my anvil, my rack, my whips, and my loins… well, that is another matter.
I’ve heard, Sauron, that you consider the thralls of Angband your larder – both sexually and in the traditional sense.
I have trouble enough keeping track of which ones have been eaten or moved to the courtesan quarters without adding to my bookkeeping troubles!
My authority allows me to decide how many thralls each industry is allotted, and if any have exceptional skills that would be squandered on hard labor, I may reappoint them, or even elevate them to positions of ease and trust. But in very rare cases do I allow them to be eaten. Ore does not mine itself, nor mills turn, nor furnaces fuel, nor mortar mix.
Wasted resources I do not abide.
That harpist had better be Maglor!
….Ooooh, you must be new here.
My sights are on a much plumper dumpling than that flaccid old killjoy.
//Thauron// I heard a Noldo once managed to cut you with a knife in a place you should have kept more protected because you felt too sure of yourself.
A gesture which I assure you will be repaid in kind, Noldo.
I hear you devour your partners after you copulate.
namelessterror-deactivated20160:
Leave a NSFW rumor in my inbox about my character and they’ll react to hearing the news that said rumor is spreading.
“Only if they are unskilled or selfish. It is a true waste to eat a talented lover, especially if they are strong enough to survive rutting with a balrog.”
Mau telling it like it is
Rumor has it you (Sauron) love you some harpist.
Whatever you may have heard, there is only one to whom my love is given.
But I do fancy a certain harpist… That much at least is true.
Hey, Melkor, I hear Sauron’s getting it on with /all/ the angsty elf-smiths this Age…
I KNOW, isn’t it delightful? Never a dull moment.
What would Melkor ro Sauron think of getting their hands on Feanor’s mama in bed?
I’d think “She looks very well, for one who has been dead these last few centuries!"
Rumour has it that you are enjoying your lessons with Feanor a bit too much, Melkor.
I don’t know WHAT you’re talking about. What lessons with Fëanor? Why would -I- need to LEARN anything? What could an ELF possibly teach me? I’m the Mighty Arising, I know everything worth knowing already, obviously.
((I will kill you later if you say another word))
I heard that Thangorodrim is Melkor’s way of compensating for small genitals!
Why should I need to compensate for their smallness? How ridiculous would they look if they dangled and flopped about like a pair of rabbit ears?
Pray tell, WHICH creature praises labia so long and cumbersome? ….Or were you referring to one of my other sexes?
Rumour has it Sauron ain’t go no time for sculpted abs and slender boychild hips. All about dat chubby chasin’.
Ah, then Rumor heard correctly!
I imagine I inherited this predilection from Aulë… (If you’ve ever seen a carven image of Yavanna, you’ll understand.)
Statuesque physiques are all very well, but a good sheath of soft padding all around speaks of a more passionate nature. The belly is the true seat of sensuality, you know; it need not be immense to indicate an appreciation for comfort and earthly pleasures. Just a round little spoonful will do! Or a supple coat around a firm core. (Or indeed, an unrestrained globe quivering with potential ardor…)
However, I’d be loathe to give up the joys of having slender companions entirely! (Especially if they are somewhat foul-mouthed and ill-mannered, and covered in freckles…) Variety is the spice of life, and a hedonist’s carnal diet should be varied and flexible, to avoid monotony.
A thin companion is sometimes a hungry one, ready to glut on pleasures and greedily lap the bowl of indulgence; only a coward or a prude would hesitate at the chance to satisfy such wanton need.
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