Who would you say has the finest rear end in Arda? Círdan the Shipwright or Ossë, the Master of the Seas. You did compare a fine behind to the stern of the ship and no two are better fitted to that metaphor than them.

~Fishing~ for compliments, are we? 

I cannot comment on the old Teler’s arse, having never seen it except in retreat from the field, and Ossë has none to speak of, being mostly comprised of the rear half of a dolphin— both in place of legs and brain.  

Say… Galadriel? With all the ring of powery-ness

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That Finarfiniel bears one of the three does indeed interest me, but not as a carnal matter. There is a woman I think best served, in honor and in love, with both knees in the dust before her feet. Unfortunately for her, I do not think mine will bend so far… though I am sure the view is memorable. 

Overall build, too? Plump is obviously your preference, but you don’t hold other forms in disfavor, do you?

A tedious line of questioning!  I am old as earth; I have taken lovers of every persuasion. Flesh itself is a novelty to me, intriguing in all its variants! 

But I am a selective connoisseur, and have appetites which are beyond my governing. If you wish to know whether I find a particular form pleasing or not, you will have to unveil yourself and come out with it! 

Sauron, I am a very squishy lady, and sometimes I don’t feel good about being squishy. But I am glad that you appreciate squish.

Madam, there is no lovelier sight in all the world. Chin up! I’d give you a good bounce on my knee, were it solicited, and were we not at war. 

masteroftheseas replied to your post “so Sauron… do they have to be round and squishy to be sexy to you?…”

“WHY MUST YOU RUIN SAILING WITH YOUR SEXUAL INNUENDOS???”

THERE IS NO WAY -I- COULD RUIN SAILING WITH ONE SEXUAL METAPHOR!

SAILING WAS ALREADY CHOK FULL OF HARD MASTS, SEAMEN, BOOBIES, BOTTOMRY, CHEEKS, CUNTLINES, AND SEACOCKS.

so Sauron… do they have to be round and squishy to be sexy to you? are big and bulky hot to you too? long and lean? pretty and petite?

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I won’t turn down a pert handful of posterior, though round is preferable. Sculpted and muscular is always a treat… But ah! Nothing compares to the delights of an ample and pendulous bottom! The plumper the better! A full stern for smooth sailing! A ripe peach to be savored! Great, luscious cushions on the throne of love! 

~ahem~. 

Pardon my lapse into poetics. It is a subject I am passionate about. 

Art Trade: You Will Kneel— RivkaZ 2015

Part of my trade with tentaklingon!

So Boris and I were jammin’ and talking about dark lords, like ya do, and the conversation turned to how my Sauron hasn’t ever met another Melkor in the RP world that he would willingly serve. This raised the delightful question of what would happen if my Sauron ever met his Melkor (who I shall refer to henceforth as ‘Melkordile’).

Melkordile does not brook argument from little maia forgelords, while my Sauron does not like to take orders from strange Valar, HOWEVER— unfortunately for them,  Boris and I both really, really, really like seeing muscular dudes thrown around forced into obedience. UwU 

(( Edit: Re-uploading with some modifications! Now with 20% better anatomeez.))

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