Oh, it would be much the same as it is now, really…!
For starters I’d make some improvements to Aman; destroy the fence of mountains, burn the cities, topple my brother’s throne. That sort of thing.
There’d be fewer elves, of course. More volcanoes. Room for everyone to do as they please, with no more interference from my Valar siblings, and no more stink of bias for the Theme and all the favored creatures of my father’s design…
Most of all, Maeglin, most of all, there would be no one stopping me from rising as I once did, in flame and ice, towering above all, hindered by nothing…
I just want Arda to be fun again, don’t you??
It’s a shame I can only show it to you in a vision…
“…And what’s the most useless thing YOU’VE ever made, Melkor? :D”
“This planet”
“…I’ve also created a variety of music boxes and automata in my time… Take your pick!
It’s a weakness of mine; reproducing natural mechanics with engineered devices. I have quite a collection by now, all gathering dust in my workshop. The war effort has made it impractical to spend much time on frivolous devices, no matter how fascinating they are to build, or soothing to watch.”
It’s been 100 years since J.R.R. Tolkien was living in an army training camp and working on a poem
called “Kortirion among the Trees”. He was the only one of his
friends to survive WWI.
Oouh? It sounds as though you have aspirations towards becoming a fisherman, Maedhros! What would you do with such a catch? Where would you keep me, and what… impractical uses would you put me to?
You’ve made me curious.
I’m delighted to tell you all the orca!Sauron is equally useless in the water as he is on land. The whole cetacean-centuar look is probably the least practical fana ever to grace the planet. Putting him in the water would be like watching a caterpillar trying to fly– like… where, exactly, is your center of gravity? Why is your waist where a proper whale would have its head? You are fucked, my friend. Oh, and you would actually have to put him in the water, because on land he is limited to flopping around seal-style, except his back half is too heavy to move more than an inch at a time, even with the biceps of a demigod. In fact, the orca fana is good for exactly one thing, and that thing is sitting on rocks looking shiny while flexing one’s abs. This is why he usually sticks to wolves.
Seaworld Arda: Dark Lord Edition– RivkaZ 2015
Back by popular demand: Orca Sauron! Better sit in the front row so you get splashed, cuz you all are thirsty.
Posting again because tumblr shrunk it in the first post.
OH you must mean my flippers! Very well– but this is the last time I indulge your little weakness, Ossë. Pleasant as it may be to ruffle your gills, next time I will require compensation for my performance… Admire while you can.
It’s not easy to maintain this fana, you know. Water is decidedly not my forte.
I think it’s entirely possible that you’ve overestimated your importance in the overall scheme of things. If– and I say ‘if’ because as you know, fate is somewhat variable for those of us higher in the foodchain– if you are indeed the instrument of my Master’s ultimate demise at the end of all things, you will be exactly and only that: a tool. An symbol, empty of significance, picked by the Valar to represent some sort of karmic justice, so long over-due as to be meaningless.
And besides– it will be ALL things that are utterly annihilated; time, matter, life, good and bad intentions alike. My plans and dreams will either be fulfilled by the time of the Dagor Dagorath, or they will have failed long before. It is the full stop at the end of the final sentence in the story of Arda, and it seems rather trite to consider that your comeuppance.
Still… I suppose you must have some sort of comfort while you wait for your trivial role at the end of time.
MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive 