Okay so here, as promised, are some sporadic and uncalled for smutty Sauron headcanons courtesy of Sexual Sunday. 

I have no excuse and I ask for no pardon. This is entirely NSFW and filthy. You’ve been warned.

1. Sauron really enjoys feasting holidays of mortals and elves because everyone tends to plump up a bit and get really hedonistic about food and cuddling and everyone’s squishier than usual and basically he’s a big fan. 

2. Old headcanon, obviously, but goddamn does he like a nice zaftig figure. Like, are you all curves? Fuck yes. Are you one curve from top to bottom? Hot. Get on his face he will take very good care of you.

3. He genuinely appreciates cum. I mean, I don’t think anyone finds it to be like, great tasting (well no that’s a lie I guess there’s that one cookbook…) but it’s incredibly hot to him and he will be shameless about licking it up. 

4. If you want to hear what a bass-baritone man sounds like when hitting a voice shredding note in ecstasy, he’s your guy. 

5. There’s no ~*special maia sex magic*~ or whatever in his personal life, he’s just an intuitive pervert who’s been around along time and pays attention. …Unless he’s with Melkor, in which case things can get kinda freaky-metaphysical and sometimes physics-bending. (Melkor’s like: hey you know what would be better than fucking me? fucking five of me while they fuck you. y/y?) 

6. Another old headcanon; he’s very tongue and mouth oriented. His tongue especially is a primary erogenous zone and he can genuinely get off just from kissing and licking and going down on his partners. 

7. If/when going down on a clit, he uses his lips primarily and skips the tongue until later for when that shit actually feels good. He does not fuck around with eating pussy. This is not a job for weak tongue-tickling. He will stuff that whole goddamn thing in his mouth if he has to. He does not need to breath. He’s got this. He is very vocally enthusiastic about having got this. 

8. Same mentality for handjobs on in-parts. He like to keep the pearl in the oyster until he can really feel the liquor flowing, if you know what i mean in a gratuitous seafood metaphor way. 

9. Sometimes he and the bae will go in for hour-long penetrative fucks that consist of very slow, very deep micro-thrusts and rocking. Because he’s got the upper body strength of Atlas and he can basically just hold Melkor in place until he’s completely out of his brain and whimpering. 

10. Gosh he loves cock. In the switchiest, horniest, most uninhibited throat-fucking way possible. 

11. About eight inches, big around as a your fist*, mostly straight with a nice bellcurve on the head, generous but neat foreskin, goes a kind of deep burgundy when seriously aroused. 

* “Fist" is relative and slightly hyperbolic, but basically, HE THICK

** He also thick as in he’s just kind of all around meaty and for the most part doesn’t feature sculpted abs so much as furry, well-padded muscle

not really a question exactly but i thought i would draw yr attention to christopher tin’s new album, The Drop That Contained The Sea. i just got it and it’s about the water cycle and it’s making me cry with water/ocean feels and i thought maybe mun would like it as inspo music or sth.

masteroftheseas:

friend I owe you many thanks because I am forever searching for more Ossë/Ocean music, and I’m not often very successful, but this is amazing.

posting here for posterity and sharing because good find many thank!!!

“Ji! Get me a boat.”

masteroftheseas:

ji-indur:

misbehavingmaiar:

“I see. So this is all you have for me, Cousin? A threat of battle and a call to arms?”  The dark maia frowned, a hollowness replacing excitement.

“I came here with the hope of truce. I brought weapons only because I do not know what terrors lurk here and how bold they might be.” His brow knit. “I wanted to swim with you, Ossë. This was meant to be a gift– like the serenades. Do you truly believe I would go this far only to tease you? To rob you of your lover’s bargain? I am… I would sink here and now if I let free this rope! I am helpless in your waters. You know I am! Why would I come here seeking war in this shape? You do not have to speak to me. You need not compromise your word. Only let me pretend for a moment that we are not enemies, that the world is ours to explore.  Ossë… please.”

@masteroftheseas

Whatever was happening underneath the surface, Ji Indur could tell that the Master of the Seas was not exactly welcoming the other Maia with open arms. Quite the opposite guessing from the way the water kept swirling. When the sound of the conch breached the waves it made the wraith shiver inside, hands clutching the wheel even tighter as he did not know what to do. He could not rush to the rope and abandon his spot on the helm as it would leave the ship without a hand to guide it. But if he remained up here he would miss any signals his master might be sending him already now and he might miss the one telling him to pull him back up to the surface. 

It never occurred to the corsair as the events started unfolding that he had no idea what Sauron’s fate would be if he would either be unable to rescue him or decide to abandon him to save his ship and himself. Could a Maia drown? He did not know and maybe it was best for him that he didn’t. Already now he had been forced to pick sides and as the whirling waters started to move the ship even with his struggles to keep it on a steady course he knew that maybe this was the one time when even Osse’s blessing would not keep his sheep afloat. 

It reminded him of the maelstrom he had face a century back and it had not been an experience he had wanted to relive. And yet here he was, with his master clinging to a rope that was still attached to the vessel that seemed like a little rowboat now as the elements played with it with ease. Ah if only he could catch a glimpse of what was happening down below. For a moment he considered jumping after the Dark Lord but…then what? What would he do once he found them? And even if he could not drown, his body would most likely be crushed by the pressure of the depths. So he had to ride the waves and hope for the best possible outcome. 

@misbehavingmaiar @masteroftheseas

The problem, as always, was that Sauron knew too well how to speak to him. He knew too well how to reason with him. It was as though his cousin could see into his own mind to voice his doubts for him. After all, Sauron was certainly too clever to think he could best Ossë in his own element. He would not come this far to meet his own demise.

But there had to be something in it for him. … perhaps he truly was lonely? It was plausible. But this was the first time he had ever dared to enter the waters by choice, so there had to be another reason. Perhaps he was setting his stage for another day.

The waters slowed but did not cease, allowing some freedom of movement but retaining the promise that they could accelerate whenever they chose. Shadows in the water emerged and formed wary Oarni with spears and tritons, circling with all the elegant promise of any predator, awaiting their lord’s command.

@misbehavingmaiar

Carefully, Sauron lowered his hands, making no swift gestures that could be viewed as a threat. He undid the sash at his waist, letting it and the daggers sink glittering into the darkness. Then he reached to his throat, where a small driftwood carving of a wolf hung.

“I have known enchantment for the sea
for coasts of citrine, emerald, lazuli,
in the countless bounty millions reap, 
and in terror of the deep.”  The dark lord repeated the rhyme he’d crafted, setting to a slow melody in his orotund voice. “Ošošai, will you swim with me? Will you teach me how?” His eyes were pleading, though black as volcanic glass. “It has been so long since I had the companionship of my own kind. The Eruhini… they do not see or love as we do. We are not like them.” 

The spears of the Oarni bristled as he haltingly swam forward, away from his tether. He was already less clumsy in the water, though tentative; his form was sleek and balanced, made for power and speed in equal measure. He held his webbed hands spread. 

“Let me accompany you for an hour, traipsing the whale-roads together– In silence if you choose! This would be your gift to me… I would ask nothing else of you for all time. Ošošai, Terror: I beg your leave to swim with you.” 

@masteroftheseas​ 

masteroftheseas:

misbehavingmaiar:

OH YOU SPITEFUL FISH I GAVE YOU SO MANY FREE RIDES TO ANGBAND

YOU SPLASHED AROUND IN MY FORGE APLENTY

I MADE FRIENDS WITH YOUR SWAN

@masteroftheseas

OSSË WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU ONLY BEFRIENDED THE SWAN TO KEEP IT AWAY FROM YOUR MASTER

YOUR FORGE HELD NO GREAT SECRETS (and frankly smelled funny I mean it was only once because he stunk for days after)

AND HE DOES NOT REMEMBER THESE FREE RIDES WAS THIS A ROLLER COASTER WAS HE DRUGGED FIRST

YOU ATE MY SNACK-METALS AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN LIKE THEM!!

*j’accuse!

“Ji! Get me a boat.”

masteroftheseas:

misbehavingmaiar:

How cold it was! 

The shock of it paralyzed him as the water enclosed his body. Even the frigid north, with the high winds of the Helcaraxë had not troubled him, but here the water drowned him like a quenched blade from the forge; he felt the boil of steam and bubbles roll off his skin.

For an instant he panicked, spine arching tense with cold, and he fought to regain the surface, finding himself plummeting rather than floating. But there was the rope, the lifeline he’d prepared, and he grasped it in desperation until he could muster his courage. 

He pulled down the great coils until the first of the buoys was within reach. A maia did not need to breathe– that at least was not a concern. The air the baubles contained was for the purpose of defense, which he hoped would not be necessary, but their presence (and their buoyancy) calmed him. And once calm, he was overtaken with awe. 

This was Ossë’s realm. 

To mortal eyes, even the clear sea became impenetrable in its vastness; light itself could not pierce the veil of depth that hid the world beneath. But Sauron saw; his sight which was more than sight took in both the miles of emptiness and the seething life within. His eyes glowed like lamp beacons in the azure deep.

In every direction their lay a new fascination. Clouds of silver fish flashing in unison, moving as though a smoke billow had gained a governing mind (and had he not seen flocks of birds evade falcons thus? How strange the friendship between Manwë and Ulmo!); sail-backed fish of incredible speed lunging into the swirl of prey, and behind them great titans of maw and teeth circling languidly;  delicate and glowing nodes of translucent poison, pulsing and feeding and populating by some whim of nature unseen; in the graveyard of the seabed, carcasses of sunken behemoths squirming with eels, their greying flesh gnawed clean to the bone– and there! There, far to the north, he spied something familiar. 

Ah. He’d been hoping they’d be within the reach of his gaze… Black and white hunters, sea-wolves roaming in packs, cruel and laughing and clever. 

Sauron had seen the bones and slaughtered remains of cetaceans; he had seen them beached and rotted on the black-rocked shores. At times he had even spied them breeching the ice and pulling hapless beasts to their death– but he had never seen them here, seen them flying, rejoicing in their own power under the waves, and this gave him an idea. There was much he could do that would immensely improve his visit…

Keenly he observed their construction, the mechanics of their bodies and the method of their propulsion. He had copied them before, crudely; his design based on partial understanding and mere aesthetic. Now his failures became clear, and so too the way forward to a more perfect construction. 

All this he witnessed as though in a dream wherein seconds move as slowly as hours– but now he woke, and as he began to shift the atoms of his body into a more streamlined and inhuman shape, Sauron felt the sea change. 

The darting silver fish and their hunters fled. The azure swells darkened to the grey of storms. The current, once predictable, stilled ominously, and then it veered, gaining unnatural momentum as it turned a vulture’s circle. It began to pull– down, down, insistent, slow, inexorable. 
Sauron wrapped the moored rope around one fist– now a sleek, shining obsidian. He surged upward against the vortex with his new, powerful finned legs, and turned to face the wild eyes of Ossë. 

“Cousin!” The maia spread smooth muscled, white-on-black arms in greeting, his voice echoing as music over the roar of the water. “You are very much earlier than I expected! I had hoped to spare you my first unlovely attempts at swimming.” He grinned, needle-toothed. “The sea! It is a fierce, beautiful thing! I had guessed but I dared not imagine! You are right to covet it– but as you would not describe its wonders to me, I had to see it for myself! You would not come to me, so I have come to you!” 

His smile was broad but it faltered as the current threatened to wrench him off the now-taut line, anchored to its unsinkable craft above. 

“Please, Cousin, I meant no harm coming here. Where is your hospitality?”

@masteroftheseas  @ji-indur

On other days, in other contexts, Ossë’s attention would have been diverted by the changed fana of his cousin. His gaze would have wandered to appreciate the imitation of his home and he would have allowed honeyed words to soothe any temper that had been boiling. But on that day and in that context, his gaze was bright and steady, like a beacon on the coast.

Sauron’s honeyed words were kind – and for just an instant, Ossë wondered if perhaps his reaction had been too fierce. After all, the seas were magnificent beyond comprehension. They were an entire world of their own, so uniquely separate from land-dwellers, mirroring their existence but enhancing it. Could he fault anyone for wishing to understand and know what other Songs there were? But then his cousin made his plea.

Words were not necessary for his mind to be expressed as he rumbled like a crashing wave overhead and idly flicked his fins in agitation. Hospitality! If he had entered the deepest halls of Angband and been found, would Sauron have treated him with his wretched hospitality? Would he have believed that the visit was purely one of wonder and friendly interest with no hidden agenda for the Aratar? A fool Ossë may be considered, but he was created to be a defender and a destroyer – he would not be distracted from pursuing his course.

One quick review was all he needed to know that Sauron was as unstable in those fins as Ossë ever was with legs. Creating the correct musculature was only one part of the problem, and he was not going to give his cousin time to perfect the other half.

He lifted the conch he always carried and rarely touched from his waist. It was as large as a man’s head but fit easily in the sea-master’s hand. His gills flared with an inhale that came out in a long, low, steady buzz through the spire. Its song pierced the chorus of the ocean and drowned the call of any voices, and even on the surface it could be heard as an eerie droning thrum from the heart of the faint-but-growing-whirlpool.

It was a call to war. The swirling waters did not slow, but they did not increase, holding steady in their prison. If Sauron sought mercy, this was what he would find:  the chance to surrender and flee.

@ji-indur

“I see. So this is all you have for me, Cousin? A threat of battle and a call to arms?”  The dark maia frowned, a hollowness replacing excitement.

“I came here with the hope of truce. I brought weapons only because I do not know what terrors lurk here and how bold they might be.” His brow knit. “I wanted to swim with you, Ossë. This was meant to be a gift– like the serenades. Do you truly believe I would go this far only to tease you? To rob you of your lover’s bargain? I am… I would sink here and now if I let free this rope! I am helpless in your waters. You know I am! Why would I come here seeking war in this shape? You do not have to speak to me. You need not compromise your word. Only let me pretend for a moment that we are not enemies, that the world is ours to explore.  Ossë… please.”

@masteroftheseas

“Ji! Get me a boat.”

ji-indur:

It
seemed that the wind favored them today as the Kraken made ways
through the dark blue water, away from the cliffs and the shores,
away from the rowboats that were waiting in the distance. Ji Indur’s
crew was not sure what might take place out there and they all felt
the tension rise as the ship finally came to a halt and the anchor
was dropped. What would occur next? And what would happen if the
captain’s master would invoke the fury of the Master of the Seas?
Would Osse take back his blessing and sink the mighty vessel that had
carried them through storms for centuries? If Ji Indur shared their
worries he did not show it, simply following his master’s orders as
the Dark Lord started to work with the items the men had brought on
deck for him.

With
every piece attached to the length of sturdy rope Ji Indur grew more
restless but he did not dare to interrupt the Maia with curious
questions. Even if Sauron would reply to him, he doubted he’d
understand his reasons any better. All he knew was that he was
trapped here between two of the Ainur and if a fight would take place
he was expected to take sides. And since the ring bound him to his
master there was only one side he could truly pick if he did not want
to greet the Void by the end of this day.

Trying
to keep his thoughts guarded so that the Dark Lord would not notice
his iternal struggle -even if he was aware that Sauron most likely
already knew of it- he watched the hook, rope and the glass baubles
attached to it sink into the blue sea. Stepping down from the helm he
silently approached his master as he looked over the net the men had
brought. Could He tell that it was connected to Círdan? If so then
would it strike Him as a really amusing coincidence as He was
preparing Himself to meet his cousin? And yet Ji Indur still wondered
how this meeting would happen. In Umbar he would have invited his
enemy to share tea or kahve with him. And then sought a way to either
draw him to his side or dispose of him. In a friendly and fast manner
of course.

As
Sauron undressed and His intentions were made clear as day, the
wraith found himself hold his breath, even though he did not even
need to breathe anymore, hands and fingers twitching as the
aforementioned tension rose. With final orders given, all the corsair
could do was to nod and bow his head, watching his master climb the
railing and then leap into the water -and quite gracefully so, Ji
Indur noted- which then swallowed him down easily.

Staring
into the depths, eyes following the length of the rope as far as
possible the captain of the Kraken had one hand on it as he waited
for whatever sign he’d be given first. It came as no surprise that it
was Osse who made himself known as the waters grew darker and the
ship started to sway and move. He was needed to stay by the rope but
as the vessel begun to rotate he knew he had to halt the motion or
else the rope might get tangled up or even tangle up the one who
intended to use it. Hurrying to the helm he tried to steady the
Kraken, a tremble running through Ji Indur’s entire body as his red
eyes still stared at the spot where Sauron had disappeared into the
domain of the Master of the Seas.

@misbehavingmaiar @masteroftheseas

“Ji! Get me a boat.”

masteroftheseas:

misbehavingmaiar:

ji-indur:

The moment the last corsair stepped off the ship, the many rowboats slowly moving away, closer to the shore but never landing, just slowly rocking nearby the cliffs in the gentle waves, Ji Indur felt two things- a sense of loneliness to have his ship so empty and abandoned and the sensation of a cornered animal as he himself could not go anywhere now unless he’d decide to jump into the water. But nay, that would be foolish and look just ridiculous. T’was not that he was /afraid/ of his master. Not at all. At least he kept telling himself that, and right now it seemed there was little for him to worry about besides moving the ship which already had started to jerk forward as the sails had been set, catching the gentle breeze. 

But before he could step to the helm he was addressed by the Maia and once again harshly reminded that even not speaking his mind would not save him from trouble as the ring gave his master ample possibilities to peer directly into his servant’s mind, even without Ji Indur’s permission. How he loathed this connection as it left him without any defenses but he forced himself to remain calm, bowing his head lightly as if to apologize for his curious thoughts. 

While he felt compelled to ask more, curious questions about his master’s time in Númenor, the corsair felt it would not be wise to remind Him of the period in His existence where He had been a prisoner and treated with little respect. So no, no word and no thought would be there willing to ask for more, instead Ji Indur focused on the tasks at hand and the question as to what Sauron had planned and was seeking to accomplish on this element that was under the command of Osse. To think that the Dark Lord felt /weak/ here would not change anything about how easily He could dispose of an unruly wraith would Ji Indur seek to cause trouble or disrupt His scheming. 

And being told that Sauron had considered taking the ship against the wraith’s wishes did do little to soothe the worries and the tension that was still taking hold of his mind and body. Ah yes… That…particular enchantment. For now it would not cause him any harm he hoped so maybe the Maia even found it amusing that one of the Nine had been blessed by the Master Of the Seas. Taking a deep, albeit unneeded breath, the wraith then walked up to the wheel to take control and guide the Kraken out into the open sea. Of course he too wanted to know now what Sauron had planned but all he could still think of was that He’d try to bait Osse somehow and capture him like a fish and if only for a moment. In a fight Maia against Maia with their elements not there to help them…who would win? 

@misbehavingmaiar @masteroftheseas

The ship’s prow pushed through emerald blue waters at a brisk pace, the winds behind them accommodating the strange two-man journey with neither wrath nor mischief. The sun held steady in a cloudless sky, and the Kraken cut a white-lipped ripple through the untroubled sea. 

Sauron, having acclimatized somewhat to the roll of the deck, stood at the stern’s rail and observed the foam-flecked trail fanning out behind them. His helmsman had grown quiet during the journey, both in voice and thought. He’d erred in reminding the pirate how much of his mind was open to him… it was often best to let Men retain the illusion of privacy, to preserve goodwill. 

But his attention was not on Ji, but the waves, and the sleek creatures that dove and dogged their wake– like wolves, but in play, rather than hunt. They were nearing the depths he desired, and his heart thundered. 

“Here. Steady her here.” 

Master if you are listening, bend your thoughts on me and shroud me from Uluboz this day…  The maia rubbed his palms together, centering his will. 

There was work to be done; and despite the dangers, the surge of excitement made him giddy. 

First the rope. It was as long and sturdy as he could have hoped for– what it had previously been designed for he did not know. Perhaps a ship’s anchor, which would be appropriate. To its end he affixed a heavy iron cast hook, used for lifting cargo. When that was to his liking, he moved up the rope and tied the green glass buoys at intervals along its length. Five seemed sufficient. Then the rope he looped and slipped about the main mast, and tied it with a firm and clever knot. 

The entire span of rope weighed as much as a deep chest of coins, but to the lord of anvil and iron it was no difficulty to shoulder its coils and heave it over the side. The length from the mast ran taut as the bulk of it sank, reaching a strange equilibrium between the iron hook and the air-filled baubles. There– he tugged his beard, pleased. 

Next, the net. It was a finely crafted work indeed; he could smell Teler hands and Teler silks in its lightweight weave. He wondered briefly where Ji might have acquired such a thing– but a pirate has his ways. 
There was no elaborate preparation needed here. He folded the net carefully and set it to one side. It, like many of the items, was not essential in itself, but rather a precaution. Or at least, he mused, a interesting diversion. Time would tell.

Finally, it was his turn to prepare. 
Large hands nimbly removed the gold bands from his ears and wrists and fingers– all save one. Then the cover from his head, the coat from his broad shoulders, and the shirt beneath, were laid all aside; waves of slate-colored hair fell over his bare back, unrestrained. He stripped down to nothing save an undercloth and a sash, into which he tucked two daggers– curved and wicked as fangs– and the folded net. 

Then he turned to his helmsman. “If anything goes wrong, know that this line here is my way back to safety. If I am unable to return to the surface on my own power, I will send a vibration up this rope, and you, Ji, will need to pull me aboard. Do not hesitate to use the power of Failaya, understand?”

The dark lord grinned, sharp and white. “Wish me luck.”  

With that he balanced himself catlike on the ship’s rail, and dove overboard. 

@ji-indur  @masteroftheseas

It did not matter how far Ossë physically traveled; his spirit was entwined with the sea, and he felt with its waves and heard with its currents. Much like a Child could choose to ignore an itch or tune out a sound, he often disregarded his senses as troublesome distractions. But with his cousin lurking so close, he was not wholly ignorant of his domain.

He was wary. Every act and every word Sauron spoke of late was to trick and tempt him. This stunt was surely no different, but this one was all the more irresistible because it blurred the lines between game and danger. If he ignored Sauron’s actions and something happened, Ulluboz would never let him forget his failure – at that, he would never forgive himself.

Usually the sea was avoided by their enemies. The triumvirate that ruled it (specifically its lords) had earned the reputation to keep trespassers at bay. Ulluboz may have been the waters’ heart, but Ossë was its true might and majesty. He was the fastest and the strongest when he was in his element, and in the few instances he had acted with no restraint he had earned his given name. As much as he was teased about his leashes, Arda was not prepared to handle him unchained.

His attention shot to Sauron the moment he breached the waves. The sea’s song blurred and muted, fumbled and lost its way in the wake of the shadowy and sooty spirit that bubbled down. Even with his physical body still far out of sight, Ossë’s response was swift:  the waters swirled and cooled and darkened, a vortex forming with the intent to trap the intruder and drag him further into the murky depths as the pressure mounted. The sea’s song altered, resonating with a steady and thrumming beat like a heart beginning to race. On the surface, the Kraken shuddered and drifted gently with the current, slowly beginning to rotate.

It was mere minutes for the glow of Ossë’s eyes to appear from what he deemed a safe distance to watch Sauron, challenging and daring.

@ji-indur @misbehavingmaiar


How cold it was! 

The shock of it paralyzed him as the water enclosed his body. Even the frigid north, with the high winds of the Helcaraxë had not troubled him, but here the water drowned him like a quenched blade from the forge; he felt the boil of steam and bubbles roll off his skin.

For an instant he panicked, spine arching tense with cold, and he fought to regain the surface, finding himself plummeting rather than floating. But there was the rope, the lifeline he’d prepared, and he grasped it in desperation until he could muster his courage. 

He pulled down the great coils until the first of the buoys was within reach. A maia did not need to breathe– that at least was not a concern. The air the baubles contained was for the purpose of defense, which he hoped would not be necessary, but their presence (and their buoyancy) calmed him. And once calm, he was overtaken with awe. 

This was Ossë’s realm. 

To mortal eyes, even the clear sea became impenetrable in its vastness; light itself could not pierce the veil of depth that hid the world beneath. But Sauron saw; his sight which was more than sight took in both the miles of emptiness and the seething life within. His eyes glowed like lamp beacons in the azure deep.

In every direction their lay a new fascination. Clouds of silver fish flashing in unison, moving as though a smoke billow had gained a governing mind (and had he not seen flocks of birds evade falcons thus? How strange the friendship between Manwë and Ulmo!); sail-backed fish of incredible speed lunging into the swirl of prey, and behind them great titans of maw and teeth circling languidly;  delicate and glowing nodes of translucent poison, pulsing and feeding and populating by some whim of nature unseen; in the graveyard of the seabed, carcasses of sunken behemoths squirming with eels, their greying flesh gnawed clean to the bone– and there! There, far to the north, he spied something familiar. 

Ah. He’d been hoping they’d be within the reach of his gaze… Black and white hunters, sea-wolves roaming in packs, cruel and laughing and clever. 

Sauron had seen the bones and slaughtered remains of cetaceans; he had seen them beached and rotted on the black-rocked shores. At times he had even spied them breeching the ice and pulling hapless beasts to their death– but he had never seen them here, seen them flying, rejoicing in their own power under the waves, and this gave him an idea. There was much he could do that would immensely improve his visit…

Keenly he observed their construction, the mechanics of their bodies and the method of their propulsion. He had copied them before, crudely; his design based on partial understanding and mere aesthetic. Now his failures became clear, and so too the way forward to a more perfect construction. 

All this he witnessed as though in a dream wherein seconds move as slowly as hours– but now he woke, and as he began to shift the atoms of his body into a more streamlined and inhuman shape, Sauron felt the sea change. 

The darting silver fish and their hunters fled. The azure swells darkened to the grey of storms. The current, once predictable, stilled ominously, and then it veered, gaining unnatural momentum as it turned a vulture’s circle. It began to pull– down, down, insistent, slow, inexorable. 
Sauron wrapped the moored rope around one fist– now a sleek, shining obsidian. He surged upward against the vortex with his new, powerful finned legs, and turned to face the wild eyes of Ossë. 

“Cousin!” The maia spread smooth muscled, white-on-black arms in greeting, his voice echoing as music over the roar of the water. “You are very much earlier than I expected! I had hoped to spare you my first unlovely attempts at swimming.” He grinned, needle-toothed. “The sea! It is a fierce, beautiful thing! I had guessed but I dared not imagine! You are right to covet it– but as you would not describe its wonders to me, I had to see it for myself! You would not come to me, so I have come to you!” 

His smile was broad but it faltered as the current threatened to wrench him off the now-taut line, anchored to its unsinkable craft above. 

“Please, Cousin, I meant no harm coming here. Where is your hospitality?”

@masteroftheseas  @ji-indur

bulleted lists are really great for folks like me who sometimes have a hard time with reading comprehension. I love me some bulleted lists/powerpoint mementations/etc, and haven’t been able to read so well lately so it would be a really nice accessible way to enjoy yr muses when i am not able to read paragraphs.

That is a really, really excellent point!

I also have trouble with reading comprehension. My threshold for jumping into long texts is low for a number of reasons, partly due to vision and attention/focus difficulties, and conversely, because I know I have problems with hyperfocusing, so I have somehow trained myself to NOT start on long reading projects just I don’t lose a whole day/week/month to obsessing over one book. I can’t win. 

 I have a great deal of trouble reading books these days, which absolutely kills me because it’s something that’s crucial to my creativity and I’ve always enjoyed reading. I try to combat this by reading short pieces like poetry, or skipping to the middle of a book I enjoy and starting at random.

 But I love lists and bullet points and dialogue and short verses– and, actually, comics as a genre– for that reason too. 🙂 

ALSO I AM HAPPY YOU ENJOY MY MUSES ❤ *beams quietly like a small excitable sun* 

…Crap now I’ve talked up a big game around these smut headcanons and they really aren’t that big a deal. >_>;;; Gotta up my smut game. 

(ooc) wait why can’t u put your smutty headcanon list here in this blog?

Oh I could! It’s just I feel like posting a plain numbered list of muse kinks would be a great way to lose followers??  XD  Idk I think I’ll save it for a Sexual Sunday post since I can’t think of any particularly relevant uses for my perving. 

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