Let’s talk about things my muses are afraid of: Sauron Edition
1. Cirdan: what does he want? he doesn’t want anything I have. I can’t control him. Hard to manipulate. I have done my best Nice Elf impression and he was not impressed. Nothing I say or do makes him believe me, how am I supposed to work like this?
Further complaints: He lives on a boat where I can’t get him. Ossë likes him. Ossë’s a big deal. Water is wet. Drowning sucks. Cirdan = water. This is awful I will kill all of his friends maybe that will help. Oh no. Now he’s just mad. Calm, and mad. That’s terrifying. What intimidates this guy? Is it nothing? I think it’s nothing. I hate this, send me a different elf please.
2. Drowning/Large Bodies of Water/see above point. Fire and water is a no go. All my shit rusts in water. None of my abilities or maia talents are effective in this medium. Wtf water, why are you like this.
3. The Void: Baby Jail.
4. The Valar: look, okay, I get it. You’re big, you’re powerful, you could wipe me from the face of the earth if you ever got off your couch in paradise to get the remote. I had to go toe-to-toe with Aulë once. He told me to go to my room, it was the worst day. So I’m going to dedicate my existence to pissing you off, but not so much that you come for me. How about that.


