Things my muses fear, Melkor Edition:
1. Tulkas. he has one job on this miserable earth, ordained by god, and it is to kick my ass whenever possible. that’s it. that’s his raison d’être. he’s the god of kicking one ass. my ass. so fuck that guy.
2. Mandos: 1/10 stars, terrible hospitality, would not recommend. Guess how many dust particles you can count in Four Ages? So many! I named all 98 quadrillion of them. Shout out to my boy Jimmy for being the best, least-identical mote and a great listener haha call me bro
3. Bondage: hey you know what’s great about being chained up for eons? literally nothing
4. Námo: he’s the death guy. he does death.
5. Varda: Do you ever look up at the stars and think “why are they flipping me off?” No? Just me? Okay.
Furthermore: The universe is a giant, scary, cold, unfeeling place. It will keep going with or without you.
I am personally offended by this.
I feel like the endless reaches of space don’t respect me? Don’t they know who I am?
6: The Void: there is so much of it, all the time everywhere forever, and nothing else except me because i’m in it. I miss dust. And my legs.
7. Manwë: HAHAHA JK what a nerd
MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive 