Tag: Shameless Misbehaving

Okay so here, as promised, are some sporadic and uncalled for smutty Sauron headcanons courtesy of Sexual Sunday. 

I have no excuse and I ask for no pardon. This is entirely NSFW and filthy. You’ve been warned.

1. Sauron really enjoys feasting holidays of mortals and elves because everyone tends to plump up a bit and get really hedonistic about food and cuddling and everyone’s squishier than usual and basically he’s a big fan. 

2. Old headcanon, obviously, but goddamn does he like a nice zaftig figure. Like, are you all curves? Fuck yes. Are you one curve from top to bottom? Hot. Get on his face he will take very good care of you.

3. He genuinely appreciates cum. I mean, I don’t think anyone finds it to be like, great tasting (well no that’s a lie I guess there’s that one cookbook…) but it’s incredibly hot to him and he will be shameless about licking it up. 

4. If you want to hear what a bass-baritone man sounds like when hitting a voice shredding note in ecstasy, he’s your guy. 

5. There’s no ~*special maia sex magic*~ or whatever in his personal life, he’s just an intuitive pervert who’s been around along time and pays attention. …Unless he’s with Melkor, in which case things can get kinda freaky-metaphysical and sometimes physics-bending. (Melkor’s like: hey you know what would be better than fucking me? fucking five of me while they fuck you. y/y?) 

6. Another old headcanon; he’s very tongue and mouth oriented. His tongue especially is a primary erogenous zone and he can genuinely get off just from kissing and licking and going down on his partners. 

7. If/when going down on a clit, he uses his lips primarily and skips the tongue until later for when that shit actually feels good. He does not fuck around with eating pussy. This is not a job for weak tongue-tickling. He will stuff that whole goddamn thing in his mouth if he has to. He does not need to breath. He’s got this. He is very vocally enthusiastic about having got this. 

8. Same mentality for handjobs on in-parts. He like to keep the pearl in the oyster until he can really feel the liquor flowing, if you know what i mean in a gratuitous seafood metaphor way. 

9. Sometimes he and the bae will go in for hour-long penetrative fucks that consist of very slow, very deep micro-thrusts and rocking. Because he’s got the upper body strength of Atlas and he can basically just hold Melkor in place until he’s completely out of his brain and whimpering. 

10. Gosh he loves cock. In the switchiest, horniest, most uninhibited throat-fucking way possible. 

11. About eight inches, big around as a your fist*, mostly straight with a nice bellcurve on the head, generous but neat foreskin, goes a kind of deep burgundy when seriously aroused. 

* “Fist" is relative and slightly hyperbolic, but basically, HE THICK

** He also thick as in he’s just kind of all around meaty and for the most part doesn’t feature sculpted abs so much as furry, well-padded muscle

If I may ask both of you, can I see your favorite swimming outfits? I’m sure lava baths and polar plunges are good leisure, you both do so much work and deserve a break. :D

Yes, yes we do! Thank you for noticing. We do try our best to Iron Hell and its vast, subterranean prisons running smoothly… Time for a dip! 

As you can see, our bathing apparel is both timeless and ideal for all elements. 

“Master I wish you’d take the crown off while bathing…”

You’re a funny maia, lieutenant. Crown stays. 

-dream meme-

doegred:

“You will be gentle with me”

His lashes lower as he nods. “Yes.”

“I will not be gentle with you.”

“No.” He agrees. 

“Lay down.“ 

You are so much smaller than he is; your body grew lean and hard with duress, while his curves outward with strength; a luxurious excess of size and power. It  overwhelms you like a forbidden feast set before a starving man. Your eyes are level with his collar bone, but still, he does your bidding without a word (his breath did halt— your heard it— he is surprised by your tone, not displeased). 

You, in your dream, are driven by the inertia of denial. The less you examine what you are doing, the more you feel capable of anything. Impossibilities dissolve, taboos evaporate, morals avert their gaze for the duration of your sleeping trespasses. The less you examine, the easier it becomes. You climb astride him, lifting your battered legs, taut from riding and long marches, placing a knee on either side of his hips. From here you feel less overwhelmed. From here you can feel his heat, the rise of his broad brown chest, look down at his curious rapture and know that he is waiting for your next move.

 You could strangle him. You could slap him hard across the plane of his leonine face. You could reach for your knife that you know is hidden beneath the mattress, and a viper would be less quick. You have done all these things before, and in the waking world, you would do them again. But now you rock backwards and listen to his long helpless groan; you let yourself be folded in, a warm palm on your back and one in your hair, and kissed (gently, because he promised— though there is tension in the jaw, an impatience that belies hunger in the stroke of his tongue, the frequency with which he presses his mouth to yours, the grip he has on the sides of your skull). 

The dream is merciful in its lack of clarity; the sensations are vivid but the context is vague. You know it is him, but you are less sure that you are you. And since time is fluid here, your experience of a kiss flows seamlessly into perfect knowledge of what his lips feel like between your thighs. 

You tell him to beg you for what he wants, and oh— he does. Those are delicious words in his voice… rumbling, soft and deep and desperate, pleading with you for mercy. You smile so wide it hurts, white teeth to the sky. Your mercy never felt so violent. You want his mouth around you because he wants it so, so badly, and because he is at your feet like a humbled mountain; because you ache for it, because he is shameless, and eager, and you know he will be perfect, that his tongue will curl like wet velvet around you and as you watch, his eyes will close with bliss and he will bury you in his throat until your fingers claw his hair for purchase. 

 He wants so much to please you, to hear ecstasy in your voice when you wail— but you don’t know why. You see it in his eyes how much he wants this, with longing equal to the insatiable cruelty you’ve become accustomed to. 

It is because this is a dream, you think, that pleasure and forgetfulness seem to heal you; allow you both to come together as if all that mattered was how well you fit together. 

You bite him and kiss him and ride him and he sinks into you slow, so slow! (he did promise…) He hardly moves and you feel as though you’re bursting; perched on the edge of overflow, but he is so gentle… why did you have him promise to be so gentle? The sounds he makes leave you panting, and still— his teeth scrape your throat, and still— his back rigid as the curve of a bow above you, bending in rhythm— and still— he calls for you, and just a feather’s touch will end you now and all you can say is his name— over and over— 

You wake with it still on your lips.

(( please forgive my sins of OoC and also probably grammar and purple prose because it is five in the morning and my brain held me hostage until I wrote this I AM SO SO SoRRY *leaps into the garbage* ))

(( @misbehavingmaiar NEVER NEVER NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR THIS GLORY! This is absolutely beautiful! I love it and it caters to all my sins.. This roleplaying community really missed you and this is but one of the many reasons why))

meme: Send my muse a wet dream and they will rate it on how they wake up:

5 ((We have a winner!)) & 1

Keep reading

Does Melkor keep his crown on during sex?

markedasinfernal:

Come on, we’ve all wondered! And herein may be compiled a list of pros and cons to keeping one’s iron crown, resplendent in stolen jewellery, on during the act of copulation.

PROS:

  • Reinforces an air of majesty.
  • Maintains ‘Dark Lord of the Earth / Moringotto’ aesthetic at all times.
  • Amazing toplighting courtesy of Silmarils.
  • Asserts dominance. Mairon doesn’t have a crown…
  • Sort of helps to hold hair back from face while making out.
  • Fëanor seething with rage in the Halls of Mandos becomes actually audible haha suck it loser.

CONS:

  • Uncomfortable to lie on – spiky adornments are not overly conducive to relaxation.
  • Might accidentally disembowel lieutenant while giving head.
  • Balance becomes imperative. No salacious lunges unless that thing is glued on.
  • Might accidentally burn self or lieutenant during proceedings.
  • Potential for unsavoury bodily fluids on the Silmarils.
  • Mairon is occasionally distracted by bright shiny things so may detract from focus.

lbrh we’ve all thought about this

I want to see Angbang and orcs tbh

TELL ME MORE, FRIEND

I mean, I’m generally in favor of orcs and smuttiness no matter the scenario, even if my personal headcanons would make it somewhat unfeasible (not impossible! just unlikely) since Melkor views them as his children and Sauron tends to think of them as expendable foot soldiers. BUT ME, I LOVE A GOOD ORC-GY. 

Tender Parts of Dark Lords

At last, the answers to last Sunday’s HotSpotMeme are ready to be viewed! Sate your curiosity, my voyeuristic friends!  

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———————NSFW images below the cut——————— 

“For points (and gratuitous drawings), guess the top three erogenous areas for both muses! For the purpose of this meme, each muse has three secret spots that make them go weak-kneed and hot under the collar when touched, genitals NOT included. “

(( FULL RESOLUTION IMAGES HERE ))

Three areas to stimulate if you wish to make Sauron deliriously ecstatic:

1) Tongue 

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…the tongue is an under-appreciated sensual organ, and this one is famously greedy (to say nothing of fearless!)

2) Neck/ shoulder/ collar bone

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…Shorter lovers are, happily, prone to latching on to this area during lovemaking. 

3) Nipples

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…Partner or no partner, these divine little buttons should not be ignored, for their effect is bafflingly intense. 

And now, three areas to attentively rouse in order to make Melkor weak and flustered:

1) Ears

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….now, who could those airy, feathered hands belong to?

2) Feet 

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….Flexible and sensitive, Melkor’s feet respond deliciously to kisses, nips, licking, massaging, and worship! …It’s a shame they’ve suffered battle damage… 

3) Hindquarters 

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…Well you needn’t ask Sauron twice!

–BONUS ROUND–

Many of you suggested that Melkor’s sensitive bits might include “tummy” and “shoulder points”…. AND YOU ARE NOT WRONG!

Therefore, I reward you with a final drawing:

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…Melkor came back from Valinor all soft and squishy like a giant, pampered, vicious toasted marshmallow!… That hadn’t had sex in three ages! Put your dick in that marshmallow, Sauron. End this tragic era of celibacy!

Cheers, my darlings! Thank you for playing my naughty game! 😉 Your answers were delightful. ❤

For Melkor: the tips of your ears, your pointy bits, and… your buttocks?

N-no fair! You’ve already seen the answers! But don’t stop, keep guessing…

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