My Master had a particular… affliction, when it came to mirrors. I suspect you suffer from the same.
I offer you the chance to see yourself amplified, floor to ceiling, in all your splendor; exquisite from every angle. It will reflect you as your lovers see you, as the proud sculptor who shaped you. You will see yourself in the light of perfection, and all other beauty will fade in comparison.
…Do try to pry yourself away once a century if you can; you might manage to get something done before the need to bask in your own image overpowers you.
Now, Lin…. we’re friends. And I know what you’re thinking: “can I bludgeon someone to death with this”, and the answer is yes, but you shouldn’t because any microfractures in the stone finish would make it unsafe for internal use.
*ahem*
You know I wouldn’t want to give you anything that would backfire or cause you harm. But you did ask for a dubious gift, so here you have it! I call it the “Richter” (because you can take the Maia out of geology but you can’t take the geology out of the Aulendur) and it is durable, washable, silent, and comes in a discreet, unmarked box.
It will, however, begin to vibrate at inopportune moments if you leave it unattended in a satchel or under a pillow for too long, particularly if there are guests present.
What can I possibly give to thee that will ease the burden of thy fate?
I have the perfect thing: this little cup, carved from the ivory horn of a ancient beast. Pretty, isn’t it? It has many fine qualities; any water drunk from it will be pure and clear, no matter where it was filled; the horn rejects any poison or foulness that contaminates it. Most impressive of all, all who drink from it are filled with a light heart, a sense of comfort that restores wisdom to a clouded head, and peace to a troubled heart. It can be shared betwixt friends for a merry evening, or to ease the cares of a long journey, or bring the light of laughter to sad eyes.
There is no fault with this cup– no secret thorn amidst its petals. My own magic touched it not, for it was a gift from a Maia of Vana.
Yet it is terribly, terribly fragile. If any part of it should break, even the most slender carved stem, then the magic will be lost, and the cup will crack and be useless even for drinking.
Of course, of course! I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of your acquaintance, but all are welcome to receive my perilous devices.
For you, I have no ring or pendant, but something that will grant you power over all men living: I call it The Knifegun. It’s a knife, and a gun.
There’s no enchantment, but if you use it to impress your date or to stab someone annoying, it is a felony, and you will be escorted out of the restaurant. So.
Your service has been long and notable, Mouth. Yet I note they have taken a toll on your body.
These bands are called the Thorns of Morgoth. They will turn all pain to pleasure when they are worn. All pain, no matter how intense.
I imagine this could be to your advantage during difficult negotiations, or simply bring amusement to the stretch of days. They will show you heights of sensation you can only imagine… be warned, therefore, that you do not let them drive you seek summits from which you cannot survive the fall.
(( OH HOHOHOHOHOHO he DEFINITELY needs it. *rubs hands together* ))
I believe I’ve found the perfect gift for one so talented in the realms of cuisine and subterfuge… I designed the box myself.
One vial holds a concoction that makes anything prepared with it smell uniquely and irresistibly appetizing. The second will cause insatiable craving some hours after consumption– a man would crawl through glass to have another taste of whatever it was he sampled the night before. The third brings about a deep, unshakable slumber full of sweetest dreams; the kind one is loathe to wake from. Each drop will buy the taster three hours of sleep so restful that nothing short of scalding fire will wake them. All three will bring about a feeling of joyful intoxication. All three can lead to disastrous consequences if used in excess…
Tread carefully, but do experiment! They needn’t necessarily be used in food, after all. Wearing a drop behind the ear as cologne, for example, might bring about interesting results.
…Goodness, you’re not already wearing some of vial #1, are you Salgant? You smell delicious.
Ah, how long it’s been since a queen of Men asked for my influence…
Alas, I have no more rings to offer thee, but perhaps this will be an adequate substitute.
Every hour of every day I hold a map of this territory in my mind; all its armies arrayed like pawns, every stronghold marked, every party held in suspicion. I have but one Eye with which to track my many enemies. My resources grow thin. It is tiring to hold so much, for so long– and to spare a thought for my nine immortal servants is but one taxation more.
I cannot, nor would not, grant you direct control of their rings. There is only One capable of that feat, and it is mine alone. But in this nine-pearled brooch I have placed a modicum of my power, a fraction of my voice. With it, you may command the nazgûl in my stead– a caretaker, if you will, with the authority to crack the whip should they step out of line.
You may find the task very absorbing. It is a difficult position, I grant you. It may demand your full attention, your every thought; absorb all your passions and narrow your desires to this one consuming burden. And of course, you’ll live forever in my service. But what is that small sacrifice compared to the power over men you’ll wield, when you are Witch-Queen?
Lieutenant Gothmog! Winner of Orc-of-the-Month for three consecutive terms. As reward for your estimable service, I present this Tulkas’s Knot armband.
Wear it, and you will find yourself able to carry twice what you used to, run twice as fast, see twice as far. Your aim will be impeccable and your judgement swift. What is more, the sight of you will be an inspiration to your comrades, an omen of terror to your enemies– it will grant you the gravitas of one heroic and beautiful.
Be wary, friend, that you do not let its charms make you forget who and what you really are. The glamor is only skin-deep. It cannot protect you from bodily harm, nor a broken heart.
(No drawings this time around!) You– or your muse or character of your choice– will receive your very own cursed accessory, hand picked for you courtesy of the Dark Lord Sauron.
Unusual Tourmaline crystal –
Teófilo Otoni, Mucuri valley, Minas Gerais, Brazil
The crystal of very dark blue-black Tourmaline measures to 8.4cm striated, with a multi faced termination, but the intriguing parts are the four holes through the tourmaline. These could have been created by the tourmaline’s growth around a pre-existing mineral, possibly feldspar, that has since been naturally dissolved away, leaving the novel crystal formation. An unusual find in the world of tourmaline.
I just realised that it’s always Tulkas and Oromë that been sent together to look for Melkor when he escaped Valinor, and you know what I need now? TULKAS AND OROMË BUDDY COP AU
MisbehavingMaiar: Tumblr Archive 